


Zombiestuck

by TheAlternativeRuler



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Angst, Blood, Cussing, Death, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gore, Humanstuck, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sadstuck, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombiestuck, there will probably be more ships to be added later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-13 02:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2133864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAlternativeRuler/pseuds/TheAlternativeRuler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a cure for cannibalism goes horribly wrong, the world is thrusted into something it was never prepared for: the Zombie Apocalypse. As the Beta kids, the Alpha kids, and the trolls try to come together in order to better their chances of survival, tensions will be high, secrets and feelings will be revealed, and lives will be lost, all in time for the end of the world. Will our heroes emerge victorious? Or will they suffer a fate worse than death?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Zombie Apocalypse? Bring it On

**Author's Note:**

> So I've seen a ton of zombiestuck stuff on tumblr and I just need to jump on this train with a fanfiction! JohnDave being the main couple, of course. Hope you like it! (Btw, everyone knows each other, they just never went through the game, and the trolls are humans!) Oh, and this is unedited so feel free to point out any spelling/grammar errors to me.

Your name is John Egbert and you think something isn't right with the world.

You're currently holed up in your room, curled under a ton of blankets while watching the best movie ever filmed, Con Air. This of course is not the reason why you think something strange is going on. You've noticed that the usual sounds of children playing and insects chirping are not flooding through your open window as they should be at this hour. Speaking of the hour, the sky is remarkably dark considering it's only 4:00 P. M. One quick glance out the window shows a grayish-black sky, though no clouds are in sight. In fact, not even the sun is in sight.

Another fishy thing is that your dad isn't baking. At any point in the day (when he's at home) you can hear your Dad baking some Betty Crocker shit downstairs in the kitchen, the sickly sweet scents drifting up through the vents into your room. But now, there's no noise, no smell, absolutely nothing. 

Suddenly, all the lights---and your T. V.---shut off and then flicker back to life. You know for a fact that your Dad never forgets to pay electric bills, and there's obviously no storm going on, so no explanation as to why there was a little power outage. 

You have a really bad feeling about all of this.

On a whim, you turn on the news to see if anything is going on. What you hear and see terrifies you.

"It seems that there have been defects in the cure! The cannibals who had been under the care of Dr. Scratch and who were subjected to his cure are now worse than before! The cure was a complete failure, and now we fear the worst. The cannibals are now stronger than ever before, completely incapable of speech, and are far beyond any help."

The reporter ceased speaking so that a video of one of the treated cannibals could be shown. It was horrible. The woman on the screen looked worse than death. Her skin was almost green, sagging off of her body and even cut open at places. She did not leak blood, but instead a brownish fluid gushed from the wound, pus-like in consistency. Her clothes were torn, you could see literally every bone in her body. Her hair was falling out in clumps and her face...oh god. The skin of her cheeks was literally melted off, showing her bared teeth and bloody gums. The rest of her face was covered in boils and scabs. Her eyes were...inhuman. If rage, hate, and insanity were mixed together to give an appearance, they'd look just like her eyes. The poor woman was obviously too far gone to be saved. She ran around her hospital room, knocking everything over, breaking things, trying to find a way out.

It was the most horrifying thing you'd ever seen in your life.

"Dr. Scratch has mysteriously disappeared since the 'cure' took affect, no one has spotted him since then. It seems as though every patient in the hospital---whether subjected to the 'cure' or not---has been infected. The patients have been breaking out of their rooms and running around the hospital, the 'cure' seems to be spread when the victim is bitten by the infected. It has spread like wildfire, and is continuing to spread at an alarming rate. Police have so far been able to keep the virus confined in the Maple Valley, Washington area, but all citizens are advised to stay in their homes and stay updated with the news for more information..." You stop listening to the reporter at that point. 

Maple Valley, Washington. That's where you live. You live only four blocks away from the hospital where the 'cure' was installed.

Holy shit.

For a moment you're frozen, until you hear glass shattering downstairs (a broken window, maybe?) and a scream. There's maniac laughter until the scream dies out abruptly. The house is silent.

You flick off the T. V. so that no noises can be heard from your room, you even hold your breath, afraid to make the tiniest peep. You can hear liquid slowly dripping from below, someone breathing wet, raspy breaths and another breathing in deep gasps that choke off every few seconds.

As you sit there immobilized by fear, the wet, raspy breaths turn into groans and moans which then turn into snarls. More silence. Another crash. Two sets of feet thump on the bottom step of the stairs. They know you're here. You're going to die.

No! Fuck no! They aren't getting John Egbert that easily! You quickly slide out of your blanket cocoon and quietly rummage through your magic chest for a weapon.

"Where the fuck is it..." You hear another loud thump, another inhuman growl. You dig faster.

Just as your hand closes around what you're looking for, the doorknob jangles, then turns ever so slowly. The door creaks open an inch. All you can see is one glowing white eye, shrouded in hate and anger and just plain madness. You close your eyes, whisper a prayer to whatever deities may be listening, and charge.

The two...things...didn't anticipate your move, so they're immobilized by shock when you slam your hammer into one of their heads. Brownish sludge goes flying, bones cracking, skin breaking. The one you hit is now lying on the ground, not moving at all.

The second one, no longer shocked, lunges at you with a shriek that hurts your ears. You swing your hammer out in a wide arc, eyes closed as the sludge splatters your face and chest. The body crumples to the ground in front of you, not moving. You wipe the disgusting 'blood' from your face, look down, and drop your hammer, hands flying up to cover your mouth. 

The second one you killed? That was your Dad.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

You race to the bathroom and throw up in the toilet, tears streaming from your eyes, snot and spit from your nose and mouth. Yeah, you're really attractive right now. You grab a towel and wipe your face, then proceed to cry even more when you see all the shaving cream all over the bathroom.

It takes you a little while to stop crying, everything you see makes you start up again. When you eventually calm down, you close your eyes, hold your breath, and run back into your room. You quickly flip the news channel back on and sit rigidly on your bed.

"We've just received word from the state government, all citizens are ordered to evacuate the entire state of Washington, no one is to stay behind. The virus is spreading too quickly for them to contain, the only chance of survival is to evacuate. Take only what you need, leave as soon as possible. Remember that anything is a weapon and every uninfected person is your friend."

The news abruptly shut off as the reporter finished her statement. You need to leave. Now.

Quickly, you grab your phone, a backpack, throw on a hoodie, pull on some sneakers, and run downstairs. You throw some nonperishable food in the bag, stuffing a blanket on top with some extra clothes tucked inside. With one last look at the place, you push up your glasses, grab your ridiculously large hammer, and run out the door. 

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Dave Strider, and you now have a very serious problem on your hands.

"...keep the virus confined in Maple Valley, Washington..." you hear from the T. V. as you sit at your computer, trying to reach Bro while somewhat listening to the news.

Fuck. Maple Valley, Washington. That's where John lives, four fucking blocks away from the infected hospital.

Your best friend could be a fucking zombie right now.

You frantically message him to see if he's okay.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 4:00--

TG: hey egderp are you a zombie?  
TG: egderp?  
TG: dude don't play with me right now  
TG: john?  
TG: JOHN FUCKING EGBERT ANSWER ME!!!  
EB: whoa dude calm down  
EB: of course i'm not a zombie :B  
TG: thank god youre okay  
TG: where are you?  
EB: i'm heading out of maple valley right now  
EB: looks like i'm the only one still here  
TG: did they say to evacuate?  
EB: yeah so i'm getting the hell out of here  
TG: is your dad with you?  
EB: ...  
TG: what?  
EB: ...no  
TG: well where is he?  
TG: did he leave already?  
EB: dave  
TG: what?  
EB: my dad is dead  
EB: and i'm the one who killed him  
TG: h-holy shit egderp  
TG: are you messing with me?  
EB: why the hell would i prank you about something like that at a time like this?  
TG: oh my god dude im so sorry  
TG: are you okay?  
EB: yeah  
EB: he and another creep attacked me in my house so I smashed their heads in  
EB: i didn't even know it was him until his blood was all over me  
TG: ...  
EB: what's wrong dave?  
TG: im coming to get you  
TG: right the fuck now  
EB: what're you talking about dave?  
TG: get just outside of washington and wait because im coming to get you  
EB: dave it'll take you forever to get up here!  
TG: just trust me dude  
EB: alright...  
TG: sweet  
TG: just stay put  
EB: will do

\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 5:46--

"Hold on Egderp, I'm coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to clarify something. This is the exact same work as the one on Wattpad titled Zombiestuck by TheAlternativeRuler. It is me. This is a product of MY mind, and so is that one. The fic is on two accounts both under my name cuz they're mine. Okay, I just wanted to make sure people knew that! Bye!


	2. Mission Accomplished

Your name is John Egbert, and right now, you really wish your friend would hurry the fuck up.

It has been about three hours since Dave had made the promise to come and get you (how he was going to make it to just outside Washington from Texas without a car or plane, you had no idea) and you were getting antsy. Though the grey sky was dark before, it only blackened more as 'nighttime' fell. It was practically impossible to see more than a few feet in front of you without the moon and the stars lighting up the night sky. 

You had scrambled up a big tree just inside Oregon borders, and made yourself a little hideout within the leaves. You had absolutely no idea if the hellish creatures (they weren't people anymore, at least not in your book) could climb trees or not, but figured it was a moot point because you couldn't be seen from the ground. You briefly wondered how the hell Dave was supposed to find you, tucked away in a tree in Oregon, but decided to trust him. He said he would find you, and you had no doubt that he would.

You only wish he would hurry up! The darker it got, the jumpier you got. Every little sound caused you to flinch and hold your breath. Sweat was dripping down your brow, even though it was fairly cold in the North right about now. 

At one point, you actually heard a half-laughing, half-choking noise coming from the ground beneath you. Sticks broke and feet shuffled, clearly not trying to be quiet. You remained silent, praying that it wouldn't smell you or something. 

All of the sudden, you heard a stick snap, but not from the creature beneath you. The sound was followed by a, "Shit," and the creature who was stalking around under your tree ran off in the voice's direction. You heard a sickening scream, a crunch of what could only be bones, and then silence.

You bite your lip and close your eyes. 'Dave, wherever you are and whatever you're doing, please hurry!'

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Dave Strider, and you're currently cussing out your Bro's name because of his untidiness. Sure, your room wasn't exactly neat either, but that's not important right now! 

You're cussing and digging through all the shit Bro has in his room. Seriously, how many smuppets and shitty swords does one guy need!? Eventually, your hand whacks against something metal that isn't a sword, and you sigh in relief.

Clearing the area of any and all plush rumps and crappy craftsmanship, you study the metal plate that now sits in front of you. It's a transporter, one of Jade's that Bro modified so that it can take you anywhere, not just to another transporter plate. He never used the thing because, as always, he covered it in smuppets and completely forgot it existed. But you didn't.

You find the control pad for the thing nearby and punch in the coordinates. How do you know where John is? That's easy. One day a long time ago, you hacked into John's phone and installed a tracking device so you could always know where he was (or at least where his phone was, not that he was ever without it). It sounds creepy, but your purpose was for irony's sake. What kind of super cool, totally ironic kid DOESN'T stalk his best bro?

Anyways, back to the transporter. It looks like Egderp is somewhere on the outskirts of Oregon, in a big forest. After putting in the coordinates, you take a deep breath---make sure you have your bag with all necessary supplies, your weapon at the ready---and step onto the plate.

Transporting does funny things to your body. It breaks you down into trillions of little particles, shoots all the particles off to where you're designated arrival spot is, and pulls you all back together again, right where you need to be. It makes you feel like you're on the fastest roller coaster ever, and your skin is just peeling off your face. Then all the sudden you stop and feel like you're gonna puke up your innards. Fun stuff.

When you come to your senses (hopefully in the right place), you find yourself floating in open air.

"Aww shit," you mutter before falling through the air, desperately trying to grab a tree branch. As you're falling, you swear you catch a glimpse of bright, almost glowing blue through the leaves of the tree in front of you. Suddenly the breath is knocked out of you and you're wheezing. Your arms are wrapped around a branch that stopped your fall, legs flailing beneath you. 

Slowly but surely, you pull yourself up onto the the thick branch and sigh heavily. Looking up, you can see a head poking out of the leaves a few yards above you.

"Dave! You're here!" Thank God, it's John.

"Shh! Don't want to attract every fucking creeper in these woods, do you?" you hiss, glancing around to make sure no one was around to hear him.

"Sorry!" John whispers back, face beaming, his big, buck teeth gleaming white against the dark black sky.

"I'm climbing up, hold on."

You walk to the trunk of the tree and use the branches and knots in the wood as foot and hand grips. You slowly and carefully climb up the tree, trying to be as quiet as possible. Finally, you make it to the branch that Egderp is camped on.

"Dave!" he whisper-yells and throws his arms around you. You hug him back while he sighs happily. "How the hell did you even get here so fast?" he looks up at you with those big blue eyes, surrounded by his black-rimmed glasses that are so not as cool or as ironic as your shades.

"I used an old transporter of Bro's. I guess it worked since I'm here in one piece," you say, actually checking to make sure nothing's missing.

"How'd you know where to find me?"

"Oh, that will have to remain a secret. For now, let's just say I have magical powers of great strength," you wiggle your fingers at him, and he huffs in annoyance.

"Ugh, fine. I guess I'm just glad you're here," John has his arms folded over his scrawny little chest. He's looking away from you now.

"I'm so flattered," you deadpan, turning his head towards you with your finger on his chin. He has tears in his eyes, which basically makes your heart break. "John? Are you okay?"

"N-no. I'm not fucking okay, Dave. I killed my Dad. My DAD. He's dead, and it's my fault." Your best bro hugs his knees with his arms and cries silently, still trying to be quiet.

"It's not your fault, John. He would've killed you or turned you into one of THEM if you hadn't. He wasn't your dad anymore anyways, there wasn't any way you could've saved him, so it's not your fault." You give him a side hug, trying to comfort him while still being the cool little shit that you are.

He leans into your touch and sighs a little. He's quiet for a while, and you almost think he fell asleep when suddenly, "Dave?"

"Yeah, Egderp?"

"Thanks for coming for me..."

You look down only to see your friend sleeping on you, a small smile on his face. You pat his head a little and whisper, "Anytime, dude."


	3. Pestering the Day Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the kids are actually texting instead of speaking over Pesterchum, the texts are proceeded by // and ended with \\\
> 
> Oh, and I'll be kind of messing up some of the relationships between characters and stuff like that, but hey, it's an AU, and it'll all be explained eventually. Maybe I'll post a chapter that just has relations on it later on once all the characters are introduced. Idk, tell me what you guys think!

Your name is John Egbert, and you absolutely refuse to get up.

You have no idea why exactly you're determined to stay in the realm of unconsciousness, but you are. Maybe it has something to do with how you're feeling right now. You just feel safe and warm for some inexplicable reason, you're just really comfortable and want to stay in this moment forever.

You drift off again, snuggling into whatever it is you're sleeping on.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Dave Strider, and you have quite the situation on your hands (this is becoming a reoccurring thing.)

John fell asleep on you several hours ago. No matter what you do, you can't get him to wake up. It's not like you need to sleep or anything, because you don't, but the two of you should really be making a plan. You guys need to meet up with the rest of your friends (if any of them are still alive). You need to get into contact with someone, find out what the hell is going on. But instead, John is sleeping on you like a lazy asshole, refusing to get up.

"John. John. John! JOHN! Oh my God, John Egbert wake up right the fuck now!" you yell at the big lazy blob sleeping on you. Yelling is not exactly a smart move right now when you're trying to hide, but Egderp needs to get his shit together and get up.

You hear John start to wake up. He mumbles and bit and rubs his head against your shoulder. Just when you're about to shout at him again, he yawns and rubs his eyes under his glasses. His blue eyes are glassy with residual sleep, but at least he's functioning now.

"Dave? What's going on?" he asks sleepily, before fully waking up and remembering what was going on. "Oh shit, Dave, I'm so sorry! I should've gotten up earlier to let you sleep!" 

"Naw man, it's fine. I got plenty of sleep before this whole thing started. But you need to get up so we can talk about what we're going to do next," you say, getting serious.

"What do you mean?" John asks, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes fully.

"Well we can't just stay up in this tree forever. We need to find out what's happening and how fast this zombie-epidemic is spreading," you explain, rolling your eyes beneath your shades. Man, John was slow when he was still waking up.

"Okay...I guess you're right," he says in agreement, seeming to wake up a little more. "Oh! And we should probably check in on Rose, Jade, and the others, too, to see if they're okay."

"Well, that's assuming they're all alive," you say grimly.

"Yeah, but I think they're okay. Especially Jade and Jake, since they're living on those huge islands in the middle of the ocean."

"True. And I guess I should keep trying to get in touch with Bro. Not that I'm worried about him, or that he'd be worried about me, but it'd be nice to know where he is," you say. It looks like John can tell that you're at least a little bit concerned, considering your best bro had to fucking kill his own zombie dad not too long ago. You doubt Bro is a zombie, the fucker's probably holed up in some safe-house or something.

"Then I guess we'd better get started!" John says with a smile, pulling out his phone. He begins to text someone over Pesterchum, and you can tell by the text color that it's Jade. You suppose you should check on Rose, just to be safe.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 11:32--

TG: yo rose  
TG: are you still alive and shit?  
TT: Yes, my heart continues to beat and my lungs continue to take in oxygen.  
TG: sweet  
TG: so whats up with you?  
TG: hows new york?  
TT: We seem to be fine here for now. Considering Washington is on the other side of the country, it is no surprise that we have not yet had any infestations.  
TT: Though I suspect there will be many cases of this 'cure' popping up very soon.  
TG: yeah  
TG: it might take a few days  
TG: but those fuckers move fast  
TT: Yes, and it seems that there's no way to cure them, at the moment. Doctor Scratch completely disappeared after his cure went horribly wrong. No one knows where he is, and he was the only one who had all the data to how this 'cure' was created, it's ingredients, chemical buildup, etcetera. It is practically impossible to come up with an antidote without all of that information.  
TG: well shit  
TG: im starting to think this doc scratch dude meant for this to happen  
TG: he didnt let anyone know any details about his secret little project  
TG: and when it all goes wrong he bails with all his data  
TG: seems kinda fishy to me  
TT: Yes, well there is not much we can do about it now. We must simply survive and hope an antidote will be created, or that all of the infected are killed.  
TG: well isnt this a bucketload of shit we just waltzed into  
TT: To put it lightly.  
TT: By the way, have you heard from John? Is he doing alright?  
TG: oh egderp  
TG: yeah hes cool  
TG: hes actually with me right now  
TG: in oregon up in a big tree in the middle of the woods  
TG: hiding from all the crazy zombies in the area  
TG: oh shit we are katniss and rue  
TG: badass girls who get shit done  
TG: hell yes  
TT: I am not even going to ask why you're together, or how.  
TT: Are your brother and John's father with you?  
TG: no  
TG: you see  
TG: john kinda  
TG: killed his dad  
TG: cuz he got infected and he wouldve gotten john too if egderp didnt pound his dads head in  
TT: Well that is unfortunate. Poor John.  
TG: yeah but i think hes ok now  
TG: hes talking to jade  
TT: Ah. Am I to assume she is faring well on her island?  
TG: yeah john said shes fine  
TG: becs just going berserk  
TG: but when doesnt he  
TT: Hmm. Well now that I know you are both safe and together, I suppose I should go. My mother almost one-upped me with a huge basket of expensive yarn balls.  
TG: oh the horror  
TT: I agree. I must do something to get back at her. Goodbye, Dave. Good luck to you.  
TG: bye rose

\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 11:45--

You now decide to text your Bro. Maybe he'll finally answer your messages and stop being such a fucking prick.

//bro hey bro\\\  
//get off your lazy ass and answer me\\\

//Okay you little shit, what's up?\\\

//whats up!? the fucking zombie apocalypse\\\  
//or have you not been paying attention\\\

//Dave, stfu. I've been fighting my way through throngs of screaming people all day.\\\

//well good for you\\\  
//i on the other hand have been dealing with the craziest shit that was ever created\\\  
//oh btw john says hi\\\

//Oh so you found the little nerd. Where are you dweebs anyway?\\\

//in oregon\\\  
//up in some pine tree\\\  
//smells like fucking christmas\\\

//Well then.\\\  
//Are we finished here?\\\

//well yeah since we both know were alive and shit\\\

//Cool. I'll get in contact with you later.\\\  
//Until then, stay alive.\\\

//wow now i really feel like im in the hunger games\\\  
//but whatever\\\

Well that was a completely stupid conversation. At least you know your bro's alive. He probably won't have to deal with any zombies for awhile either. 

"Hey, you makin' progress with any of our other stupid friends, Mr. Friendleader?" you ask the boy you're up in a tree with.

"Huh?" John says distractedly, before whining, "Oh, no! I've only been able to talk to Jade, I couldn't get in touch with Karkat or Jake or anybody else!"

"Weird. Well, let's hope they're not all dead or whatever," you say with a shrug.

"Dave! Don't say that! Anyways, I doubt they're dead. Jake is probably having some weird connection problems and Karkat is probably just being a dick. He's probably off watching a romcom placed during the apocalypse so he knows what his next step will be," John says with an eye roll.

"Are you sure you tried everyone? You couldn't even get Dirk or Sollux?" you check.

"Yes, I'm sure! They're all offline right now!" John says with a pout.

"Huh. That's odd," you comment.

"You don't think..." John gulps and continues, "You don't think they're...dead...do you?"

"What? No! Of course they're not dead, Egderp. You said it yourself, didn't you? But it doesn't matter, we know Rose and Jade and Bro are alive and that's good enough for now. The rest of our friends can deal with their own shit for a while," you say, wondering how true your words are.

"Yeah, you're right," John sighs.

"No shit I'm right."

"Of course," John laughs.

Out of nowhere, you hear a beeping sound that makes John flip his shit. He jams his hand into his pocket and wrenches out his phone. After glancing at the screen, he holds it up---a smile slapped on his nerdy face---like it's a fucking trophy.

"Karkat's online!" he says like an excited little kid.

"I feel sorry for you," you say, shaking your head.

"Why?"

"Because now you have to deal with that asshole's shit. He'll probably be blubbering on about that apocalyptic romcom like a preacher."

"Dave! He's our friend, and while he is sometimes an asshole, at least we can find out what's going on where he is." John then proceeds to pester Karkat, the doucheist douche of them all (in everyone's opinion),

~*~*~*~*

Your name is John Egbert, and you are currently about to explode with happiness.

Sure, you had said that you figured Karkat was off watching an apocalyptic romcom, but that was just a joke. You were honestly worried about him and all of your other friends, you being one of the two friendleaders and all.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:04--

EB: hey karkat! :B  
CG: JOHN THANK FUCKING GOD.  
EB: what's wrong?  
CG: WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT'S WRONG!? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS WRONG.   
CG: THESE FUGLY DOUCHES ARE RUNNING RAMPANT ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. I'VE ALREADY KILLED LIKE FIFTEEN OF THEM, BUT THEY JUST KEEP COMING.  
EB: wait hold up. did you seriously just use the word 'fugly'?  
CG: JOHN FUCKING EGBERT WE ARE NOT HAVING THIS DISCUSSION. IN FACT, THIS DISCUSSION IS SO FAR FROM HAPPENING THAT IT BELONGS IN A WHOLE OTHER UNIVERSE. IT HAS PACKED ITS BAGS, BOUGHT ITS PLANE TICKET, AND FLOWN OFF TO LIVE IN THE OTHER FUCKING UNIVERSE FOR AS LONG AS THESE SHITTY ZOMBIES ARE STILL AROUND.   
EB: ok ok jeez karkat calm your tits.  
EB: so what else happened? have you gotten in touch with anybody else yet?  
CG: NO.   
CG: I'VE TRIED LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE  
CG: EXCEPT DAVE, BECAUSE STRIDER IS A DOUCHEMUFFIN.  
CG: I'M FIGHTING MY WAY TO TEREZI'S NOW SINCE SHE'S THE CLOSEST. IF I FIND HER THERE AND SHE'S NOT DEAD OR A LIVING CORPSE, THEN I GUESS WE'LL HEAD TO NEPETA AND EQUIUS'S SINCE THEY'RE THE CLOSEST.  
EB: good! let me know how everyone is when you find them, okay?  
CG: YEAH, YEAH, COFRIENDLEADERS AND ALL THAT SHIT.  
CG: BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU TALKED TO ANYONE YET?  
EB: yeah! :B i got in touch with jade a little while ago and she's fine.  
CG: ANYONE ELSE? WHAT ABOUT THAT ASSHOLE, DAVE?  
EB: oh yeah! i almost forgot! dave and i are chilling up in a pine tree in oregon.  
CG: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW HOW HE GOT TO YOU SO FAST FROM THE FUCKING STATE OF TEXAS.  
EB: well you see he kind of-  
CG: NO JOHN, I SERIOUSLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW, BECAUSE I DONT GIVE A SHIT. CG: JUST STAY ALIVE UNTIL WE CAN ALL MEET UP AND HAVE THE SHITTIEST OF FRIEND  
REUNIONS ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN.   
CG: WE CAN ALL CATCH UP ON EACH OTHERS LIVES WHILE FIGHTING ZOMBIES LIKE IT'S THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE.   
CG: OH WAIT, IT IS THE FUCKING APOCALYPSE HAPPENING RIGHT THIS SECOND, MY MISTAKE.  
EB: whatever karkat. it's just good to know you're alive and shit.   
EB: keep looking for the others, dave and i will try to do the same.  
CG: YEAH, YOU TOO I GUESS.  
CG: EVEN THOUGH TYPING THOSE WORDS GAVE MY HANDS SEVENTH DEGREE BURNS.  
EB: wow dude. stop being so immature, fucking apocalypse, remember?

\--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 12:15--

"Karkat's fine," you tell Dave once you finish your conversation with your crabby friend.

"As if I care. In fact, I'm sure none of the others give a shit about Karkat's state of being. It's basically just you, Kanaya, and Nepeta that care. Maybe Sollux, when he's not being a complete bitch," Dave comments with a shrug.

"Ugh, I am so not in the mood to get into it with you right now, Dave. I'm just going to ignore you and try and contact the others," you sigh and lean against the truck of the tree you're sitting on.

"Whatever floats your fucking boat dude," he replies.

You decide to open up a big memo so that everyone can check in on it once they're able to type a response.

\--ectoBiologist [EB] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ZOMBIEASSKICKERS--

EB: hey guys! :B  
EB: i just opened this memo so that everyone can check in on it when they get a chance.  
EB: so if you're not dead or a zombie or whatever, please sign in and let everybody know on this memo.  
EB: cause guys i think we need to make a plan to meet up.  
EB: shit is going down, and i think it would be better if we were all together.  
EB: like the team name says, we're zombie-ass kickers! :B   
EB: might as well do it together, right?  
CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD EGBERT.  
CG: DON'T START RANTING TO YOURSELF ON ONE OF THESE MEMOS.  
CG: THAT'S MY THING.  
TG: no one gives a flying fuck karkat  
CG: OH FUCK NO, I AM SO NOT TALKING TO YOU, DAVE.  
CG: I DO NOT HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW.   
CG: AND I KNOW THAT IF I TALK TO YOU I WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE ENDLESS SHIT THAT SPEWS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH LIKE FUCKING NIAGRA FALLS.  
TG: really?  
TG: then why are you still here?  
EB: guys guys! chill, ok?   
EB: jeez, you can't meet in person if you're just going to fight like this!  
EB: we have to work together, or else we'll all die!  
CG: UGH WHATEVER. AT THIS POINT I DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT.  
TG: finally youre on the same level as everyone else  
CG: OH IT IS ON LIKE MOTHERFUCKING DONKEY KONG, STRIDER! I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS SO THOROUGHLY THAT YOU'LL FEEL IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE.  
GA: Karkat, I Insist You Cease Arguing With Dave On A Public Memo For All Our Friends To See.  
CG: WELL IF IT ISN'T KANAYA MARYAM, AND HOW ARE YOU, MY DEAR SISTER?  
EB: kanaya! it's great to see you're ok!   
EB: what happened to you, where are you?  
GA: Well You See, I Was Out Grocery Shopping When The Infected 'Zombies,' As You Call Them, Began To Attack Our City. I Ran To The Gardening Section, Started Up A Chainsaw, And Began Cutting My Way Back Home.  
GA: But Once I Got There, Karkat Was Already Gone And I Had No Way To Contact Him Until I Found My Phone Just Mere Moments Ago.  
GA: Where Are You, Karkat?  
CG: ON MY WAY TO TEREZI'S.   
CG: EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE FUCKING HOARDS, THE ZOMBIES ARE PRETTY EASY TO HACK THROUGH.  
CG: I TOOK MY SICKLES WITH ME, FIGURING THEY'D COME IN HANDY.   
CG: LOOKS LIKE THEY DO THE TRICK.  
GA: Then I Shall Accompany You To Terezis.  
GA: Stay Where You Are, I Will Find You Soon.  
CG: WHOOP DEE FUCKING DO.  
EB: well i guess we're done here.  
EB: just have the others check in too, when you see them.  
EB: once we have everyone, we can meet up somewhere and come up with a plan.  
GA: That Sounds Wonderful, John. Karkat And I Will Collect As Many Of Our Friends As We Can.  
CG: OH THAT'LL BE A PIECE OF CAKE, CONSIDERING MOST OF THEM LIVE, OH, I DON'T KNOW, HALFWAY ACROSS THE FUCKING COUNTRY.  
TG: you have fun with that

\--ectoBiologist [EB] turntechGodhead [TG] carcinoGeneticist [CG] and grimAuxiliatrix [GA] have logged off--

"Well, at least some stuff is getting done," you say with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, but if Karkat is one of the two who are getting things done, that pretty much dooms it to fail," Dave says with a snort.

"Oh shut up, I bet they'll be able to gather up more of our friends then we can!" you huff.

"Speaking of gathering up our friends, I have a plan," Dave says with a smirk. "This plan is so amazing dude, it will fucking blow your mind. Are you ready for this shit?"

You nod reluctantly and roll your eyes, knowing it'll be something stupid.

"We get to civilization, steal a boat, and go get Jade and Jake from their islands. Bam." Dave makes explosion motions with his hands. Let's just say, you totally Facepalm x2 combo.

"Wow, Dave, you never cease to amaze me with your shitty plans," you groan.

"No dude, we are in this shit. We are making this happen. We are going to steal a motherfuckin' speed boat and go pick up Jade and Jake. While we're at it, we may as well loop around to Cali and pick up Dirk, too," he says, looking right at you through his shades.

"Ugh, fine. But if we drown out there, I am never talking to you again," you concede.

"Yes!" Dave makes a victory fist. "Alright, let's get going! Time to enter civilization again!" 

"Or whatever's left of it," you mumble, throwing your backpack over your shoulder.

You two scurry down the tree like squirrels ("Dave, I never wanted to know what the bottom of your sneaker tastes like." "John! Quit breaking the branches after you use them!" "Uh, shit. Dave? I think I just got stuck in some tree sap...") and make your way through the forest. You have your ginormous hammer, he has his silver swords that aren't shitty like the rest of them. 

Dave twirls his blades and says, "Let's go kick some zombie ass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugggggghhhhhh I hate the way I write Karkat and Kanaya. I do them no justice. Terezi would hang me for this treason.


	4. Zombie Slicer 2.0

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you feel like you're in the middle of Zombie Slicer.

Everywhere you look, the fuckers are walking around, looking for more people to bite, and more mayhem to cause. You're hacking your way through the hoards of infected people with your sickles, but you're hardly making a dent, and you've been at it for almost an hour. 

For every zombie you kill, another ten replace it. Honestly, you're surprised you haven't been bitten yet. As badass as you are with those sickles, there are just too many for you to take on alone. And you aren't getting any closer to Terezi's place, unfortunately. You still have a few neighborhoods to pass before you get to hers, but at the rate you're going, you'll probably get there in about, oh, a month or so.

Fuck, you don't even know how there are this many infected people already. It looks like everyone in town has been bitten, except for you, Kanaya, and hopefully, Terezi, Nepeta, and Equius. Those dumbasses better still be normal, or all of this time-wasting effort will have been for nothing.

Several agonizingly shitty minutes later, you hear a strange sound coming from behind you. How you can hear it through all the sounds of cutting, squishing, growling, and screaming you don't know, but you don't particularly give a fuck. It sounds like the weird whirring sound is getting closer, but you don't have time to worry about it, because you're still busy murdering zombies.

Then, suddenly, the whirring sound is directly behind you, louder than ever. You hear a cutting noise, a choking sound, and then silence. When you turn around to find the source of the noise, you discover that your beloved sister, Kanaya, is the source. Well, not her specifically, but her, her chainsaw, and the zombie she just sliced in half.

"Why, if it isn't my darling sister, Kanaya. Thanks so much for joining me," you drawl sarcastically.

"Cease your incessant complaining. I did not abandon you on purpose, and I am here now to help you arrive at Terezi's safely and not infected," Kanaya says while helping you slice through zombies. Looks like this is no longer just Zombie Slicer, it has ascended the echeladder to become Zombie Slicer 2.0.

After what felt like fucking forever, but was probably only twenty minutes, every last infected person is dead, and you and your sister remained. 

"Well, we finally killed all the bastards. Take that, Strider! I'll bet we kicked more ass just now than he will this whole week," you say, lifting up your sickles in triumph.

"Yes, we have certainly made quite the impressive pile of corpses. Aradia would have quite a corpse party." You snicker as Kanaya says this. "Now I suppose it is time to reach Terezi's house and make sure she is quite alright," Kanaya cuts the power to her chainsaw.

The two of you walk carefully through the maze of bodies, often splashing in puddles of...what used to be blood, but sure as hell isn't now. It looks like...God, you don't even want to think about what it looks like. Let's just call it some pretty fucking nasty shit.

"This is disgusting, my skirt will be stained so badly with this filth!" your sister complains, trying to hold up the bottom of her long green skirt.

"You should just cut the bottom of it off. You'll be able to fight and move easier," you suggest.

"Definitely not. This is silk, Karkat! Do you even realize how horrible of a notion that is?" she asks you, looking horrified.

You shrug. "Whatever, I'm just trying to help. Sorry for offering my goddamn advice when I'm supposed to be a co-friendleader or whatever the fuck John is calling us." 

Kanaya huffs, and very, very reluctantly uses a small pair of scissors from her purse to cut a foot from her skirt. It's now just past knee length, and she looks like she can move a lot more easily now.

"There, now was that so fucking difficult?" you ask with a smirk.

"Oh, be quiet."

Eventually, you reach Terezi's house, which looks almost...vacant. Cautiously, you walk up to the front door, and knock softly. It swings open to reveal a dark house.

You and Kanaya walk slowly into Terezi's house, listening for any sign of life. You check all the rooms downstairs, and find no one. When you check Terezi's parents' room, it looks as if things had been packed up quickly and taken away. Looking into some other rooms confirmed your suspicions, the Pyropes had fled.

Just for the hell of it, you try to open Terezi's door to see if they're all hidden in there, but surprisingly, it won't budge. You yank as hard as you can, but her knob won't turn. Locked, from the outside, it looks like. Strange.

You take a step back and kick the door in. Once the dust settles, you find something you were not expecting to see. Or more like, someone.

There she is, Terezi Pyrope, sleeping in her bed peacefully, behind a locked door in her empty house, in the middle of the fucking zombie apocalypse. Anger overwhelms you, and you punch the wall, leaving a hole. Terezi's parents must have left her behind, figuring the blind girl would just slow them down, locking the zombies out, or maybe just locking her in.

Your nails are biting into your palms, the slight pain keeping you from punching something else. God fucking damn it! You always knew her parents didn't really love her, or at least, you suspected they didn't. Now it looks like you were right.

Kanaya walks over and gently places a hand on your shoulder. She gives you a reassuring smile, and you simmer down a bit. You sigh deeply, and muster up the courage to wake your friend.

"TZ, hey TZ, wake up," you say, shaking her shoulder just a bit. She mumbles something incoherently, but doesn't wake up.

"Terezi, come on. You need to wake up. Terezi. TEREZI. TEREZI FUCKING PYROPE, GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP!" you yell in frustration.

"Mmm, is that you, Karkat?" she asks, rubbing her sightless eyes as she wakes.

"Yeah, it's me. Congratulations on figuring out who the fuck I am," you deadpan.

Terezi giggles obnoxiously and says, "I'd know your yell anywhere, Karkles. But the question is, what in the world are you doing here?"

"About that..." you start awkwardly, looking for the right words.

"Terezi," Kanaya interjects, sitting on the bed beside the blind girl. 

"Oh, Kanaya is here too? Well, what a little party we have going on here," Terezi jokes.

"Terezi, there is something we need to tell you, about your parents," Kanaya continues gently, acting like she hadn't heard her speak.

"My parents? Hey, where are they, anyways?" Terezi inquires, looking around with her sightless eyes. You hand her her red glasses and walking cane, so your hands have something to do.

"Terezi...your mother and father are not here," Kanaya says reluctantly, placing a hand on Terezi's shoulder.

Your friend's eyebrows scrunch up in confusion, then in anger, and finally, her face becomes a blank slate. "Oh, I see. Well actually, I don't fucking see, but you know what I mean."

"Terezi, I am terribly sorry," Kanaya says.

"Don't be," Terezi replies, brushing off the hand on her shoulder. "It's not like I didn't expect this. I knew that they'd leave me one day, so why not today? Who would want to drag around a blind girl during the apocalypse anyways?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNEW!? Whenever I told you that your parents didn't really love you and that you'd better be careful, you always said I was being ridiculous! What the fuck, Terezi!?" you exclaim, throwing your hands in the air and glaring at your friend.

"Of course I knew, what, did you think I was stupid, Karkles? I just didn't want you worrying about me, so I acted like I didn't know. But I've spied on them, and heard of their treasonous plans to leave me behind someday. I was prepared to be left alone, and I was willing to let them off the hook. I would do the same thing, if I had a blind child, and I was in the middle of the apocalypse," she explains, standing up and walking out of her room. You and Kanaya follow her, looking and listening for anything out of the ordinary.

"Terezi, that's bullshit and you know it. Your parents are breaking the law, you of all people should care about that," you state drily. Terezi has wanted to become a lawyer since she was little, she's completely obsessed with the legal system and justice.

She stops for a moment, tenses her shoulders, then relaxes and keeps moving. "What does the law matter anymore? It's the apocalypse, everyone is going to die anyways. In a matter of days, all of the U. S. will be completely zombie-fied. After that, it's only a matter of time before the whole world is infected, and no one will be beyond this 'cure' except for its creator."

"You could not possibly know that for sure, Terezi," Kanaya says, although she sounds a bit hesitant.

"Of course I can, it's just logic. Let's face it, this zombie epidemic is spreading like wild fire, and there won't be any way to stop it. Doc Scratch ran off with all his data on the 'cure,' so there's no way to know if there's any way to reverse its effects. And we can't just keep killing them, everyone will get bitten eventually, so we're all doomed. My parents just have a little longer, now that they don't have me," Terezi states, walking out her front door as if she weren't blind at all.

"You are completely shitting me right now, TZ. You don't believe any of that crap, there's still hope. We're getting all of our friends together for the shittiest friend reunion and we are going to fucking survive. Kanaya and I came here to pick you up, then we're off to Nepeta and Equius's, then we'll go and find Sollux and maybe Aradia too, if she's around. After that, we'll try and get to Gamzee, Tavros, and Vriska. Oh, and Feferi," you say, counting off the names on your fingers.

"Aren't you forgetting someone else?" Kanaya asks.

"No, I'm pretty fucking sure that's everyone. John said he'll take care of the rest of the idiots, so we're fan-fucking-tastic," you insist.

"Karkles, you're definitely forgetting someone," Terezi says with a little giggle.

"Nope, fuck no, I'm not forgetting anyone. That's it, case closed. It's been locked up, the key's been swallowed, and the case has been dropped into the Mariana Trench, never to be spoken of again."

"Karkat," the girls chide.

"Ugh! Why the flying FUCK would you want us to get HIM!? Don't you guys hate him as much as I do!?" you yell in frustration.

"While Ampora is exceedingly annoying and quite insufferable, he still constitutes as a friend. He is part of the 'gang' and if John were to find out you neglected to pick him up, he would be furious," Kanaya says.

"Ha! Do you hear this laughter? HA! Egbert doesn't get ever get 'furious,' he's like the most annoyingly positive person I have the misfortune of knowing," you snort.

"That may be true, but John does care about his friends, and he will not be pleased to find the group missing a member when we all eventually come together," your sister argues.

"She's right, Karkles, John would be pissed at you, being his fellow friendleader. He'd probably never talk to you again!" Terezi cackles.

"Like THAT would be such a fucking tragedy." You roll your eyes.

"Karkat," the girls chide again. They give you the disappointed stare x2 combo. God fucking damn it.

"Alright FINE! We'll get Eridan too! Fucking hell, you guys are annoying!" you give in with a groan. The girls are high-fiving each other, so you give them the finger, and continue walking.

It's going to be a longass day.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is John Egbert, and you've just realized how easy stealing a speed boat is.

Well, how easy stealing a speed boat is when the whole town is deserted, the boat's in the water, the keys are on the seat, and the tank is full of gas. It's almost like someone prepared this for you guys, like, 'wow, I should get this boat ready before I evacuate, just in case some cool zombie-ass kickers need to use it to pick up some friends who are also total badasses.' 

Dave calls it the result of his awesome planning skills, you call it incredibly good luck.

You make him read the owner's manual while you get some supplies. It's really weird to walk through a town with no one in it besides the two of you. All these houses, all these shops, completely empty. It's almost...spooky. It's like you can hear the echoes of the people who lived here before they had to leave. 

You walk into the grocery store, not surprised to see that a lot of food is gone. People must have ransacked this place for supplies before hightailing it out of the town. You sigh and walk through the mostly empty aisles, a shopping basket in your hands.

You manage to find some cans of soup, vegetables, and fruit cocktails. You don't take any of the perishable foods, because they'd go bad too quickly. After grabbing two cases of water bottles and some chocolate chips (just for the hell of it), you get out of the creepy store and walk to the drug store. 

It's mostly empty too, only stupid stuff like candy, toys, cards, and movies are left behind. You find some aspirin by the register, a few packages of bandaids tucked away in the back of the shelves, and you're ready to go.

You head back to the dock to find Dave with headphones on, staring (or so you assume) out at the sea.

"Hey dude," you say, plopping down next to him.

He sticks his headphones around his neck and replies, "Sup."

You sigh. "Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think," you play with the hem of your shirt nervously and continue, "do you think that everything will go back to normal, someday?"

Dave sighs loudly, flops onto his back, his hands behind his head, and says, "I don't fucking know, man. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Maybe we'll find a cure for the 'cure,' or maybe we'll kill all the bastards. I just don't know. Shit's pretty deep, dude, there may be no way out of it."

You lie down next to him, and say, "Yeah, I guess you're right. I just...fuck, I guess seeing how this town is so empty is getting to me. All these people had to drop everything and leave their whole lives behind, and it's just really...sad. I never thought the world would end up like this."

"I don't think even the creators of The Walking Dead saw this shitstorm coming, bro," Dave says.

You snicker, "If only Daryl were here to save us now!"

"Hell no, we're fine on our own. And once we get the whole group together, we'll be the biggest group of badasses anyone's ever seen."

"That's true, there are twenty of us. I don't think anyone can beat that."

"Hell yeah, we'll dig ourselves out of this shit, we will rule this shit. We will be like fucking gods of this shit, and all the zombies will cower before our sheer godliness before we murder them all."

You and Dave laugh till your sides hurt, and then you know it's time to go. Dave gets in the boat and starts the engine while you untie it from the dock. You jump in quickly before Dave hits the gas and you go bouncing across the water.

At this speed, you'll reach Jade's island within an hour, then it'll be off to Jake's, with a quick pit stop at Cali to grab Dirk. Maybe Roxy'll be with him, but it's hard to say. At least you have a plan, because after that, you're not sure what you'll do. 

You guys still have to get all the way to New York to pick up Rose, which will be pretty impossible unless you get some help. Maybe you can steal a car too? Maybe Dirk knows how to fly a plane? You'll do whatever it takes to get everyone together.

You hope Karkat's doing okay, he hasn't checked in yet, so you don't know if he ever got to Terezi's or not.

Suddenly, all thoughts of Karkat and Terezi and the rest of your friends leave your mind. You see a red spot in the distance, that you're heading straight for. As you get closer and realize what it is, your heart clenches and shards of ice pierce it.

Your sister's island is drowning in lava.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha sorry not sorry. >;}


	5. A/N: Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things are the same, some are different, but they all have reasons.

John's Dad was married to John's Mom but she died when he was born. John's Dad then had Jade with Jade's Mom (they never married), but Jade's mom died while hunting. John's Dad wanted to take in Jade, but her Grandfather took her in instead. John and his father live in Maple Valley, Washington. Jade and her Grandfather live on their island in the Pacific. (Jade's island is farther north than Jake's island and is closer to the coast of Oregon.)

Dave's Bro, Dirk's Bro, Rose's Mom, and Roxy's Mom are all siblings. Both Bros are actually biological fathers. Kids are cousins. Family has weird tradition of naming their kids after their siblings. Dave's Bro (Dirk) named Dave after Dirk's Bro (Dave) and vice versa, Rose's Mom (Roxy) named Rose after Roxy's Mom (Rose) and vice versa. Rose's and Roxy's Moms had one night stands with their fathers who are unknown. Dave's and Dirk's Moms were teenage girls that gave them to their dads (Bros). Dave and his Bro live in Houston, Texas. Dirk and his Bro as well as Roxy and her Mom live in Los Angeles, California in their respective homes. Rose and her Mom live in Rainbow Falls, New York.

Jake lives on his island in the Pacific (about 2-3 hours from Jade's) completely alone, except for Dirk's robot. His parents left one day to go exploring in Africa, and never came back. Jake never gave up hope that they're still alive, so he stays on their island. (Jake's island is farther south than Jade's island and is closer to the coast of California.)

Jane lives with her Dad and Mom in Dixie, Georgia.

Karkat was adopted by Kanaya's family (Mom and Dad, who went missing at the start of the apocalypse), but kept his own last name. They live somewhere in western Wyoming.

Terezi, Sollux, Aradia, Feferi, Eridan, Tavros, Gamzee, and Vriska aren't related to other trolls in any way. Terezi's parents left her at the start of the apocalypse (as you know). She lives very close to Karkat and Kanaya. Sollux's Dad's and Aradia's Mom and Dad are good friends, they're almost never around. Sollux and Aradia are also good friends that support each other. They live in Phoenix, Arizona. Feferi and Eridan are good friends, Eridan's Dad is divorced (his Mom is unknown) and Feferi's Mom is always away on business trips, her Dad is away even more often. They live in Miami, Florida. Tavros and Gamzee are already in a relationship, and Vriska is Tavros's childhood friend/enemy. Tavros lives with his widower Dad (how his Mom died is unknown to Tavros), Gamzee lives with his divorced Dad who is never around (his Mom is unknown), Vriska lives with her divorced Mom (her Dad is unknown). They live in Denver, Colorado.

Nepeta and Equius are full blood siblings, but their parents died in a car crash and Nepeta kept their Mom's last name (Leijon) while Equius kept their Dad's last name (Zahhak). They live very close to Karkat, Kanaya, and Terezi.

~*~*~*~*

Jade and Nepeta are 15.

John, Dave, Dirk, Jake, Rose, Roxy, Jane, Karkat, Terezi, Sollux, Aradia, Feferi, Eridan, Tavros, Gamzee, and Vriska are 16.

Kanaya is 17.

Equius is 18.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that explained everything! Just let me know if you have any questions.


	6. Boredom and Anything But

Your name is Sollux Captor, and you're currently coding some stupid shit that won't help you live through this apocalypse at all, but you don't really give a fuck.

Aradia is sitting on your bed with her head in her hands, looking bored out of her mind while she's watching the news. She seems to be pretty okay with the whole 'zombie apocalypse' thing, but you suppose she's pretty okay with everything. You are too, actually. The two of you have always believed that the apocalypse would happen one day, ever since you were little. Most parents and teachers thought you and Aradia were twisted, and they were right. But hey, what do you expect from two kids whose parents are hardly ever around because they're too busy getting drunk off their asses with each other?

"Sollux, I know we've always been expecting the apocalypse to happen, hoping that it would happen in our lifetimes, but this seems so...boring. I expected more than a simple 'experimental cure gone wrong' situation. If I knew this was going to happen, I would've preferred drying before this apocalypse could ever happen. Or waited for the next one," Aradia says with a sigh, staring blankly at the T. V. 

"Well thorry to burtht your bubble, AA, but it lookth like thith ith the apocalypthe we're thtuck with," you say, still typing away at your computer.

Your best friend groans before falling back on your bed. She rolls over onto her stomach to watch you code for awhile, before she gets bored with that too. While Aradia may be okay with almost everything, boredom is something she definitely cannot stand.

"Soooooooolllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuxxxxxxxx! This is so boring!" Aradia whines.

"We could go out and kill thome zombieth or thomething," you suggest, still typing away.

"There aren't any here yet, they're still up north. They've only infected Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming. That's fast, but they still won't reach us here for another day or so," she states with a bored tone.

"Hmm, Wathington and Wyoming, huh?" you ask, still coding fast as ever. Honestly, you could do this code in your sleep, it's so basic.

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Doethn't Egbert live in Wathington? Actually, doethn't he live right where the 'cure' wath put in place?" you ask, but you're not concerned in the least, just idly curious.You're still pretty okay with this whole apocalypse, and your friends' deaths don't affect you, since everyone's gonna die anyways.

"Yeah, he does, actually. Huh, I hope he's okay. And hey, don't Karkat, Kanaya, Terezi, Nepeta, and Equius live in Wyoming?" Aradia looks a bit concerned, but not really.

"Yeah, but I'm thure they're fine," you say with a wave of your hand.

"You're probably right," she sighs out, plopping back down on your bed.

After a few minutes of silence, all out of nowhere, you hear sparks sizzling and crackling then a dying beeping noise, and your computer screen powers off. 

"FUCK!" you yell.

"What's up, Sollux?" Aradia asks nonchalantly.

"MY COMPUTER JUTHT FUCKING THORT THIRCUITED!" you scream. Your hands are running all over your computer and its cords, trying to find out what went wrong. You hear hysterical laughter coming from behind you, and turn to see Aradia laughing her ass off. 

"You think thith ith fucking funny?" you growl, glaring at her through your red and blue glasses.

"I-it's hilarious!" she gets out between bouts of laughter, "S-something important t-to you actually j-just died!"

"I don't even thee how you think thith ith funny in any way," you grumble, turning back to your computer. Oh, your poor baby! It's really busted up. It looks like there's no way to save the unit, and when you look...yup. Fucking hell, you can't get your data back either. The main memory unit is completely destroyed, you don't even want to touch it, you might get electrocuted.

You check the wall socket and, sure enough, there's a ring of black around the computer plugs. The power must've blown out. You flick on your bedroom light, just to check, and it doesn't turn on. Figures, the one good thing you had left is taken from you before you've even fought any zombies.

"Fuck. And neither of uth hath a phone tho we can't rethieve or rethpond to methageth," you groan, plopping down next to Aradia.

"Aww, does wittle baby Sowux miss his compuwer? Poor wittle Sowux, so attached to his machines," Aradia says in a baby-voice. Ugh, you really don't have time for her shenanigans right now, you have to go figure out why the power went out, and if you can get it back.

You get up and go downstairs into the laundry room where the main electric box is. You open it up, but after poking around in it for a few minutes, you realize that there's no fucking way you're getting the power back.

Well shit, you hope no one messages you or Aradia, or you guys are screwed.

"Bad newth, AA. There'th no way to get the power back, the whole grid mutht've blown. I'll bet power'th out in the whole thity," you sigh, walking back into your room. Aradia looks bored again, and to be honest, you're pretty bored yourself, now that you have nothing to do. Your computer was your life, now that it's dead, you suppose you are too. All that's left to do is get infected or killed.

"I don't particularly care, Sollux. You're the one who's obsessed with machines. Well, you, Equius, and Dirk, although all three are kind of different obsessions," she replies.

"Yeth, I'm pretty thure that while I'm 'obthethed' with computerth, I'm definitely not tho fucked up that I'm obthethed with robotth like Zahhak and Thtrider are."

"Strider's obsession isn't really that fucked up, it's Zahhak's that's just sick. At least Dirk only fights with his robots (both physically and mentally). Equius fights with them (physically), destroys them, rebuilds them, makes out with them, and restarts the process," Aradia remarks.

"True."

"Why is he even in the group? It's not like anybody actually likes him!" 

"Ah, but you're forgetting the one perthon who doeth love EQ. The one who idolizeth him," you say with a smirk.

"Who the fuck would love or idolize that piece of shit?" she questions, looking quite disbelieving.

"Why, hith darling little thithter, of courthe," you say, rolling your eyes.

"Oh, I almost forgot, Nepeta actually likes him. You'd think that she'd hate him with all of his creepy obsessions and with how he never lets her do anything," Aradia says, rolling her own eyes.

"Ithn't it obviouth? The loveth him becauthe he'th overprotective. Their parentth are dead, AA, he'th the only one left to look after her. I think the liketh the reminderth whenever he forbidth her from doing thomething," you explain.

"I guess you're right," she sighs.

"Tho, what do we do now?" you ask, staring at your ceiling.

"I have absolutely no idea, there's nothing really TO do," Aradia sighs deeply and continues, "We can't go kick zombie ass because they haven't shown up yet, and we can't leave until our parents come back, or something important actually happens. Ugh, I hate waiting for something to happen!" 

The two of you groan and cover your faces with your hands.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Dave Strider, and you're pretty fucking relived that you're surrounded by the ocean, because John looks like he's about to puke.

You're not feeling too hot yourself, but you're way too cool for that weak stomach shit. There's no way in hell you're getting nauseous about...seeing Jade's island...in flames...drowning in hot lava...oh fuck.

John is making these weird little noises, kind of like a fish out of water. He's gasping a bit, chocking a bit, and all around flipping the fuck out.

You quickly cut the engine to the boat, and turn around to look at your best bro. He has his hand over his mouth, trying to keep from throwing up, probably. He's not crying (yet), but his eyes are shining with tears, like a ton of the loneliest stars in the universe decided to take a dip in his way-too-fucking-blue eyes.

"Dude..." you say awkwardly. Feelings jams are definitely not your thing, you and Bro made it very clear that you'd never have them, but it looks like John could seriously use one now. Or maybe just a hug or something...? Fuck, you don't know! 

The only other time you've seen John cry was when you found him in the woods...three days ago maybe? (You're not too sure, time seems to be slipping away from you.) And at that point, you were a little too relived to see him alive to be your usual 'cool as fuck and hot as hell but totally awkward about feelings' self. Now you're a little too shaken up by the fact that Jade---one of your best friends---is now dead, to really comfort John or act like this is not affecting you.

Oh God, here come the hiccuping sobs...shit. Oh fuck oh fuck oh FUCK! What do you do now? Gfdi you are not ready to deal with this, you probably never will be, and most definitely aren't now!

"Dude...bro c'mon...just stop...Egbert...John I-...oh fuck it," you give up your attempts to remain calm. Remaining calm and cool and collected is not something either of you can do right now. And since you're not being your usual self, you might as well do something usual-you wouldn't do.

You take a step forward and grab John's arms. He looks up at you, his bottom lip quivering like a wiggling worm, (God, how is that something a real body part can do?) and you hug him. No shitty excuse for a hug like your half-hug was when he was crying about his Dad, but a real, full-on hug.

John stiffens up a bit at first---you've never full-on hugged him before---but then he loosens up and wraps his arms around you.

While he's crying on your shoulder, you can't help but notice how warm he is. Seriously, did he swallow a space heater when he was little or something? Jesus. And even though you're a bit taller than him, he still has his arms around your neck, holding you tight like his arms are a noose.

The two of you stand around like that for awhile, before you notice that John has stopped crying. He gives you one final squeeze, then lets go and sighs deeply. You turn around and see that the lava is hardening in places. There's a giant sphere covered in blackening lava just beside a broken tower that's splashed with red, orange, and black. 

"W-well..." John stops to clear his voice, he sounds like a truck driver hacking up his lungs. "I-I guess w-we should go n-now."

"Yeah...better than hanging out here. We have enough on our plates to deal with, we don't need to add lung disease to the shit pile," you say. He sits down quietly and stares at Jade's island---or what's left of it---with a blank look. Even after you two are well on your way, John's still looking back with that blank expression. His eyes look kind of cloudy, and less blue, but more gray.

You concentrate on driving the boat and directing it toward Jake's island, although you're a little worried you'll end up finding it in the same condition as Jade's. You're not sure either you or John could take that right now.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you're pretty fucking suspicious right now.

The shit has hit the whirling device, but there aren't any other people in this area of town either. No people, and no zombies. There's no way you killed ALL of them, maybe all the zombies on your side of town, but not all the zombies in the whole motherfucking town.

Kanaya has suggested that the ones left alive might have left to go infect other towns and cities, but you're not buying that. There would have to be at least a few stragglers, just a few zombies that were rebels and decided to stay behind. You're cautious, to say the least, and any little noise or movement makes you jump. Terezi teases you and says you're acting like a little kid in a haunted house, you tell her to fuck off.

The three of you have finally made it to the other side of town, when you hear it. At first, it's so quiet that you think you're imagining it, but then it gets so loud, there's no denying it. Pretending that the noise isn't there would be like pretending that all of this was some fucked up nightmare. Way too big of a lie to go undetected, and way too optimistic for you to actually believe.

It sounds like someone groaning in pain just when the pain-killers start kicking in: sickening, drunken, and pretty fucking inhuman. 

"Karkles, are you hearing what I'm hearing?" Terezi asks, the slightest tint of fear coloring her voice. (Sadly, fear isn't red, Terezi loves red.)

"Yeah, I can hear it. At least we know you're not hearing things like Aradia and Sollux said they did when they were kids, consider me fucking relieved," you say, trying to detect where the noise is coming from. It seems like it's coming from all over, like you're being enveloped by a chorus of groans. You're being battered by the waves of horror movie noises. It sucks.

"Karkat, I believe it would be best if we quicken our pace and find Nepeta and Equius as soon as we can," Kanaya says nervously. Her eyes are flicking everywhere, looking for the source of the noise.

"I get it, alright? Jesus, can't you just shut your fucking faces for a goddamn minute so I can concentrate!" you snarl. After that, Terezi and Kanaya fall silent. That's better. Or maybe not, because now you can definitely tell that the noise is getting louder by the second and it's closing in on you quickly.

When the line of the horizon starts moving, you know something's not right. Then you can make out what's actually coming toward you, and you're scared shitless.

You're all royally fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here! Take my attempt at Sollux and Aradia! Just...take it! *absconds*


	7. Death is Pretty Probable

Your name is Tavros Nitram, and even though you'll probably be dead tomorrow, you're really happy right now.

You and your best bro (and boyfriend) are chilling on your couch. Gamzee is cradling a bottle of Faygo like a newborn baby, and you're eating tons of chicken nuggets. Vriska, your best friend/mortal enemy, is rolling her dice between her hands while she's sitting on the floor. You've never understood why she has such a strange obsession with those dice, other than that her dad left them for her---before he disappeared---when she was a baby. She never goes anywhere without them, and you stopped teasing her about it years ago.

"Hey, uh, guys. Do you want me to, uh, turn on the news?" you ask.

"Nah bro, it's all motherfucking good. No sense getting yourself all wound the fuck up watching that shit. We'll let Karbro handle that," Gamzee says, throwing you a lazy smile.

"Yeah Toreadumbass, no sense listening to some blond bimbo raaaaaaaant about all of the world's problems. It'll just boooooooore me," Vriska says, rolling her eyes. Wait, you mean eye. She lost her left eye in an "accident" when you guys were little. Now she has a cool black eyepatch, that she decorated with eight blue dots, covering her empty eye socket.

"Uh, okay. I guess you guys are right. The news will just be, uh, stupid and depressing," you say, shrugging.

"Yeah, it's not as if we don't know that those infected bastards are closing in on us right noooooooow. They'll be here in about two days, at the latest. Not much time to prepare, huuuuuuuuh?" Vriska smirks mischievously, basically the only expression she has. It kind of annoys you when she sarcastically holds out her vowels, but she's also annoyed by your constant stutters and 'uh's, so you digress.

"Well not so motherfucking fast, sis. We have plenty of time to get our wicked shit together," Gamzee protests.

"Uh, guys, what are you planning? You're not expecting us to, uh, FIGHT, are you?" Your eyes widen in shock.

"No, of coooooooourse not, Tavros! Not with you and your...disability," Vriska says, eyeing your legs.

You're not in your four-wheel device (also known as wheelchair, but you think that word's offensive) at the moment since you're on the couch, but it's within arm's reach, it always is. You've been paralyzed below the waist for as long as you can remember, you don't think you've ever walked before. Whenever you try to ask your Dad why you're paralyzed, he just awkwardly changes the subject. Interestingly, he does the same when you ask about your mom's death. Vriska's been telling you that your Dad is hiding something important for forever, but you don't think so. You and your Dad are usually pretty open with each other, you love him a lot! He probably just doesn't like talking about it, and doesn't want you to worry.

"Hey, Vriska, lay off about that," Gamzee says seriously. He's always been very protective of you when it comes to your disability, he never lets anyone give you any crap about it. Vriska is always just teasing, and even though he knows that, he never lets her get away with it. You think it's really sweet that he cares so much and looks out for you like that, even though it doesn't really bother you.

"Fiiiiiiiine Gamzee, I'll knock it off. Jeez, you're such a buzzkill!" Vriska rolls her eyes.

"No way, sis, the only buzzkill is Karbro. I bring the motherfucking party!" he replies, back to using his usual carefree tone of voice.

"Ugh, I know right!? Karkat is aaaaaaaalways on our asses about what we're up to, it's so fucking annoying!"

"Well, uh, he is our, uh, co-friendleader. So I guess he feels like we're his, uh, responsibility?" you put in.

"Oh come oooooooon, that thing? John is OBVIOUSLY the real leader. Karkat just likes to THINK he is. He keeps tabs on us, sure, but he holds his 'leadership' over eeeeeeeeveryone's heads. John should just take complete control! He has the potential!" Vriska clenches her fists and smiles.

"Uh, Vriska? I know John is like your, uh, little prodigy and everything, and that you want him to be a hero or, uh, something. But I really think you should give Karkat more credit! He does a lot more in our group than, uh, most people," you say.

"Yeah, Karbro might be a bit of a party pooper, but he does keep us all motherfucking together. I don't think too many people would go to JOHN for advice, but plenty of us go to Karbro for a motherfucking feelings jam," Gamzee says, supporting his best friend.

"Pleeeeeeeease! Our friends only go to Karkat for romantic advice, because he's seen every romcom ever filmed! He doesn't actually give REEEEEEEEAL advice. He can't even sort out his OWN feelings, let alone others'. And John just doesn't do a lot right now because he doesn't see himself as a truuuuuuuue leader! He just wants to let Karkat do everything leader-y while he does everything friend-y! But he has the potential! He'll be the beeeeeeeest hero, I bet he'll save us all during this apocalypse, just you wait!" 

You know it's a bad idea to argue about John and Karkat's leadership skills with Vriska any longer, she'll go into major ranting mode.

"Well, the apocalypse isn't even, uh, HERE yet. I bet Sollux and Aradia are, uh, a bit disappointed," you say, changing the subject.

"Yeah, Solbro and Arasis are all up and obsessed with the apocalypse. I hope this shit doesn't bore them like everything else does," Gamzee comments.

"Of coooooooourse they'll be bored by this, they're Sollux and Aradia. After all, they were probably hoping for a more destructive apocalypse. Like, some kind of end-of-the-universe thing," Vriska says with an eye roll.

"Uh, you're probably right, Vriska," you say.

"I'm aaaaaaaalways right," she replies with a wink. You're about to reply to this when you hear a loud beeping.

"Oh! Sounds like the pie is motherfucking all up and done cooking!" Gamzee says, standing up and walking into your kitchen.

"Uh, when did you bake a pie? In, uh, my kitchen?" you ask, sitting up so you can see what your boyfriend is doing in said area of your house.

"I threw all the motherfucking ingredients together at my place, and put it in your oven so all the miracles happen right here. This shit is gonna be sweet as fuck," Gamzee replies, bringing back three huge slices of pie.

"What kind of pie iiiiiiiis this?" Vriska asks, poking at her greenish-colored slice with her fork.

"It's just some motherfucking pumpkin pie, no need to get your panties all up and twisted, sis. I threw in some green food coloring because why the fuck not?" Gamzee was already shoving giant forkfuls of his slice into his mouth. You and Vriska look at each other, shrug, and dig in, too.

"Wow, Gamzee, this is, uh, really good!" you exclaim upon eating your first bite.

"Hmm, it's not as baaaaaaaad as I thought it would be," Vriska admits.

"Well I'm glad you motherfucking like it. Have all the pie you want. Give your sweet tooth what it's all up and craving," Gamzee replies, smiling.

You and Vriska each manage to wolf down three huge pieces of pie, which is pretty impressive. Gamzee eats four or five, you don't really remember, but he definitely ate more than you did! 

After your second piece, the room began to tilt a bit and your speech began to slur just the tiniest bit, but you thought nothing of it. Then after the third piece, you were rambling and giggling and basically acting like you were drunk off your ass. Vriska seemed to be facing the same problems. Gamzee, on the other hand, seemed completely normal, other than the fact that he was cussing a bit more than usual.

All three of you are laying in a circle on the floor, heads touching, and you're still talking and laughing at nothing. But now you're feeling a little drowsy. Your eyelids are starting to get pretty heavy, like someone attached an anvil to them.

"H-hey guys, uh, are you feeling, uh, sleepy too?" you ask, rubbing your eyes with your free hand. Your other hand is currently being used as your boyfriend's personal teddy bear.

"Yeeeeeeeeah, I'm feeling pretty tired toooooooo," Vriska yawns, further lengthening her words.

"I'm motherfucking ready for a nap. All this pie-eating shit has given me a fucking major case of the sleepies, and I ain't motherfucking gonna ignore the call," Gamzee says, curling up into a ball, still holding your hand to his chest.

"We should all, uh, take a nap then! We aren't in any, uh immediate danger, so, uh, it should be safe to sleep," you tell them, closing your eyes. Your last thought before slipping into unconsciousness is, 'What the fuck did Gamzee put in that pie?'

~*~*~*~*

Karkat's POV

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you might as well stab yourself in the face with your sickle.

You can obviously see as well as hear the zombies now, they're closing in rapidly as fuck. Everywhere you look, the infected fuckers are pouring in through allies and back roads and buildings, all flowing into the main streets, headed straight for you.

There go your chances of survival. They sprouted wings and flew to south for the winter, there's no getting them back.

"Shit. Shit. Shitshitshitshitshitshit God fucking damn it!" you chant, holding your head in your hands.

"Karkat, please, you have to stay calm. We need you to be level-headed, or there will be no chance of us making it out alive," Kanaya says, patting your back gently.

"Calm? CALM!? Why the fucking hell should I be calm!? We're dead whether I go bat-shit crazy or not!" you scream. Suddenly, someone slaps you across the face. Your head flies back and everything. You even growl when you look up to see who it was, though you pretty much know already.

"Karkles, shut the fuck up." Yup, it was Terezi. Figures.

"Why should I? And furthermore, fuck you, Pyrope!" you snarl, not giving her the satisfaction by holding your burning cheek. Damn, that thing is hot as hell.

"You should shut the fuck up, because you're spouting bullshit. You don't believe that we're totally screwed over, not the real you, anyways. The real you would go down fighting, with a final 'fuck you' screamed to the sky. The real you wouldn't start breaking down in a crisis. The real you would step up and be the fucking friendleader you're supposed to be," Terezi says, crossing her arms and glaring at you with her sightless eyes.

You're kind of speechless. No one's ever really talked to you like that before, especially not Terezi. Not Pyrope, the crazy chic obsessed with the law and the color red. Not the girl who hangs scalemates for fun. But no, she's not acting like that girl now. She looks like she's ready to kick some ass, even if that ass belongs to her childhood friend and leader.

"Oh, fuck you, Terezi," you mumble, standing up fully, sickles raised. You just barely catch her grin before you notice how close the zombies are getting. God, were all the people they infected ninjas? They're already several yards closer than they were a few fucking seconds ago. You didn't even hear them creeping up, the bastards.

"Well, this is certainly going to be an interesting fight," your sister says, revving her chainsaw.

"Yes indeed. But justice needs to be served!" Terezi cackles and pulls her sword from her cane.

"Let's just get this over with," you grumble. You turn to the ocean of zombies that sway around like drunken hula dancers. The three of you form a triangle of badassery, ready to kill, or be killed.

Then, you pull a pretty fucking stupid move. Something so stupid, even EGBERT would be smart enough not to do it. 

You charge the horde.

As you charge, you're sckreeing like a banshee and swinging your sickles like a fucking psychopathic serial killer. The image you create is of a tiny sand crab attacking one hundred pods of whales.

This angers you, like most things do, and you start cussing out the zombies that you're hacking away like weeds. Your anger meter is about 110% to blow, because you're making no progress, and you're pretty sure you're going to fucking die.

Well, Pyrope was right about one thing. If you die today, it won't be without a final, "fuck you." Maybe you'll add on a side order of, "suck it" and a big fat helping of "go to hell" for dessert.


	8. The Epic Search for Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, enjoy!

Your name is John Egbert, and your life is shit.

It was only a few days ago when you KILLED YOUR OWN DAD, and now you're pretty sure that your sister is dead too. You're pretty much out of family members to lose. Life is a bucket of shit.

Well okay, maybe not compete shit. You're still alive, you have a plan, you've made contact with some friends, you're collecting more friends, and you have Dave. Thank God for Dave. Without that cool kid by your side, you'd probably be dead already, or just lying in a puddle of grief somewhere. Dave is your---totally ironic---bro rock. He's keeping you sane, which is something you kind of need to be in order to be a friend leader.

"How much longer till we reach Jake's island?" you ask, leaning over the side of the boat.

"Shouldn't be too much longer. You might be able to see it in a few minutes, so keep those baby blue peepers peeled," Dave replies, driving the boat with one hand on the steering wheel. You think this is a really reckless way of driving a speed boat, but you guess he's just too cool to be safe, even during the apocalypse.

You pout a bit, but follow his orders. About five minutes later, a big green blob appears on the horizon. 

"Well at least it's not on fire," Dave mutters, but you just catch it. You couldn't help but agree, you didn't need to lose BOTH your island-dwelling friends to volcanic eruptions. Dave kept driving like a dumbass, and slowly but surely, Jake's island got bigger and more detailed as your boat approached. 

Everything seemed pretty normal, until you hit the whale carcass.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Dave Strider, and you just hit a dead whale with your speedboat.

Yes, that's what you said. A bigass, fucking whale carcass, floating out in the middle of the goddamn ocean. How was it floating when it probably weighed a ton? Who the fuck knows! In fact, who even cares?

"Where the ever-loving fuck did that come from?" you ask, standing back up. You totally didn't loose your footing and trip when the boat slammed on the breaks.

"I don't know, but that thing is huge! And it's so white too!" John exclaims, leaning over the edge to get a better look. He's right, the dead whale is big as a barn and pale as a ghost. The thing is flopped on its side, obviously very dead. No corpse-smooches would bring this poor creature back to life. It also looks like it died very recently, and when you take a closer look at it, you see that its body is riddled with holes like a slice of Swiss cheese.

"This has to be Jake's handiwork," you say, putting the boat in reverse so you can drive around Moby Dick's poor, dead descendant.

"Yup, who else would be shooting whales at a time like this?"

"Ampora."

"Oh yeah. Good point." John nods in agreement.

The two of you make your way to Jake's island a little more slowly now, careful not to run into any more dead marine life. Luckily, you make it without any further issues. Yay for you guys! There's only one itty bitty little shitty problem. 

How are you going to find one tiny little English in THAT mess?

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Kanaya Maryam, and you are a total badass. Your younger brother and his friend are also total badasses. The three of you make one lovely, badass, zombie-killing team.

It took what seemed to be hours, but the efforts of the three of you combined were enough to defeat the zombies that were attacking you, regardless of how outnumbered you were. Your chainsaw is covered with greenish-yellow puss, your legs---no longer protected by your skirt---have puss, skin, and little bits of...guts...coating them. How absolutely revolting.

"I-is everyone okay!?" Karkat yelled, panting from exertion. He has most certainly tired himself out the most due to his constant cursing while fighting.

"I feel disgusting, but physically, I am quite alright," you answer, using a mostly clean shirt on one of the zombies' bodies to wipe the slime from your chainsaw.

"Never been better!" Terezi cackles one of her almost insane-sounding laughs. They are quite obnoxious in your opinion, and can last for several minutes if one truly gets her going.

"Well isn't that nice. If it makes you feel so alive, maybe we should almost get KILLED BY A HORDE OF ZOMBIES every day!" Karkat says sarcastically, throwing up his hands that are still holding his sickles, causing puss to fly in all directions.

"No, I do not recommend that particular course of action, we barely survived this horde, I would not readily welcome another," you state, attempting to rid yourself of the gore of battle.

"So what do we do now? Have a corpse party?" Terezi asks, grinning.

"No, we will not have a fucking corpse party. We are going straight to Nepeta and Equius's so we can pick their sorry asses up. Then we'll continue to pick up all the other fuckers until we decide on a meeting place where we will have our shitty friend reunion. We have a plan, and I'll be damned if we start fucking with it," Karkat replies, stepping around the bodies, heading towards your nearest friends' house once again.

You and Terezi follow, carefully stepping around the corpses of infected people. It takes much longer than anticipated, but you finally arrive at their house. Karkat pounds on the door, and screams, "Equius, it's Karkat! You and Nepeta get your asses out here! We have a lot of shit to do, so let's go!"

Though he shouted loudly enough to wake the entire neighborhood, there is no reply. He tells you to take care of the door---because it is locked tightly---and you sigh. You step up to the door, rev your chainsaw, and slice through the wood with ease. 

The door comes crashing down with a creak and an explosion of sawdust. There is still no noise emanating from the house. The three of you comb the building, but sadly find nothing. Well, almost nothing.

Pounce de Leon, Nepeta's gigantic white cat, jumps out of the hallways closet with a yowl, claws extended, teeth bared. She very nearly rips Terezi's face to shreds before Karkat steps in. Pounce always seemed to like him very much, and she calms down greatly once she realizes who he is.

"Hey you weird meowbeast, can you find your little kitten and her big sweaty fuckass of a relation for me?" he asks, setting her down on the ground gently.

Immediately, her nose goes to the air and sniffs everything in her surrounding area. Once she finds the correct trail, her tail straightens out, and she goes running off after it. The three of you follow her quickly, going through a few rooms downstairs before reaching a door you hadn't noticed before.

It was quite nominal, a very tiny little door hidden right beneath the staircase. Without Pounce de Leon's guidance, you most likely would have never found it. You open the door cautiously, and it reveals a staircase leading downwards into a secret basement. 

Pounce bounds down the stairs, with your merry little party right on her heels. The staircase finally ends, leading through a long hallway. You are so far down that it is almost impossible to see. You are only able to find your way by following the tinkling of the bell on Pounce's collar.

There is a door at the end of the hallway, one that is locked with several locks. It is metal, very strong metal at that, and seems to be impenetrable. Your younger sibling steps up to the door and slams his fist onto it repeatedly. You are sure it will leave a horrible bruise.

"Equius, Nepeta, if you guys are locked in here, open the fuck up!" 

There is a series of metallic clicks and clanks before the door opens. Light floods into the hallways, momentarily blinding you. Once you regain your sight, you can't help but laugh lightly at the scene before you. Your little cat-obsessed friend, Nepeta Leijon, is squeezing the life out of Karkat. 

"Karkitty! It's so good to so you! I was so worried that you'd been hurt or infected already! I wanted to check up on you, but Equius decided to lock us down here to keep us safe, and I couldn't message you because there aren't any computers down here and I left my phone upstairs!" she exclaims in a rush, still hugging him. He eventually hugs her back, and it makes quite the adorable picture. 

"Kanaya, it is good to see that you're doing well," Equius says in his raspy-whisper of a voice from behind Nepeta.

"It is quite a pleasure to see that you and Nepeta are safe as well. I must admit, we were quite worried until Pounce de Leon kindly showed us the way to the secret door," you say in return, leaning down to pet said feline. She purrs.

"That's a good cat, thank you for helping them find us!" Nepeta says with a happy smile, bending over to kiss her cat.

"Why the fuck do you even have this little underground hideout anyways, Zahhak?" Karkat questions.

"Yeah, it's not like you were expecting this, were you?" Terezi follows up, sounding like an interrogator.

"Of course I want expecting this. Our parents had this built a long time ago before they passed, and they showed it to me so that I could keep us safely hidden here in case of an emergency," Equius explains.

"Ah, that makes sense. Well, now that we have come together, we can continue to collect our friends along the way until we are able to meet up with John and the others," you say.

"Oh yay! It was so boring cooped up in that little room!" Nepeta claps her hands together excitedly.

"Hold your horses, Nepeta," Equius warns, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" she asks, tilting her head in confusion.

"We are not going anywhere, we're staying right here."


	9. Let's Get a Move On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you know, since more and more characters are being introduced, more POVs will be in each chapter, causing them to be longer and have longer update waiting times.

Your name is Gamzee Makara, and you have the biggest hangover ever. It fucking sucks, you usually don't feel them this bad, but this one is coming onto you in ways you never thought to avoid.

You groan and sit up, checking out your surroundings. You know you're definitely not at home, that's for sure. You're at Tavbro's, and for some reason, you were sleeping on the floor of your boyfriend's living room.

The more alert you become, the more you remember about what the fuck is going on. Tavbro and Vrissis are still knocked out cold on the ground, probably still sleeping off whatever alcohol and drugs you three consumed. It's nighttime, but you're not sure if you've just been asleep all day, or if it's been longer than that.

"What the motherfuck-" you start, but stop in your tracks when you see the empty pie tin. "Aww shit." You guys ate the pie, that's what knocked you out. That green pumpkin pie was filled with all kinds of alcohol and drugs that you randomly tossed in there when learning the recipe from Roxsis, who got the recipe from Janesis and simply improved it by adding lots of liquor. Of course, you thought it'd be a motherfucking miracle if you threw some more alcohol and some added drugs to it, because why the fuck not, right? God damn, you do really stupid things when you're drunk. No wonder Karbro stopped putting up with your shit years ago.

Speaking of Karbro, maybe you should get in touch with him.

\--terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 10:45--

TC: hEy KaRbRo.

TC: WhAt'S uP wItH yOu AnD yOuR sHiT?

TC: yOu StIlL aLiVe BrO?

TC: iT'd Be A mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE iF yOu AnSwErEd.

TC: KaRbRo?

TC: YoU'd BeTtEr JuSt Be IgNoRiNg Me BeCaUsE yOu'Re KiCkInG zOmBiE aSs.

\--terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:00--

Well, what the fuck are you supposed to do now? You notice that you've been included in a memo created by John under the name ZOMBIEASSKICKERS. Pretty motherfucking sweet. Looks like only Karbro and Kansis responded, and that was a ton of hours ago.

You look over to see Tavbro and Vrissis still completely knocked out. There's pretty much no chance of them waking up anytime soon. 

"Those motherfuckers," you mumble.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is John Egbert, and you're pondering how pumpkins can become that crazy and uncultivated. Their vines are twisted all around the trees on the island, creating a giant net over the whole jungle. Spots of orange emerge between the green, but there aren't nearly as many pumpkins as there are vines.

"Well fuck," you say when Dave parks the boat.

"Yes, fuck indeed. I wonder where he is in that pile of shit," he says, tying the boat to the dock so you don't loose your only chance at escape.

"I guess we'd better start looking. We'll check his house first, although I doubt he's even there," you say, tightening the straps on your backpack and lifting up your hammer.

You and Dave carefully creep through the jungle, stepping over vines every few seconds to keep from tripping (you trip at least twice, Dave laughs his ass off). You make it to the center of the island, where Jake's big tower is. Even the giant white globe on top is wrapped in pumpkin vines.

You two run up the stairs and check all around the tower, and there's no sign of Jake. His computer is destroyed, and most of his guns and ammo are gone, but that's not all. The sparing robot Dirk gave Jake when Jake's parents disappeared is on his bed in pieces. It looks like Jake tried to fix him with little to no success.

"That motherfucker, making us sweep the whole island to find him. And why the fuck can't he keep his pumpkins in line?" Dave says when you two are on the ground again.

"He must be around here somewhere. And I guess they just got way too crazy for him to handle," you say, shrugging.

Slowly, you start searching for any signs of your friend. It takes awhile, but eventually you find the carcass of a big white goat, its body littered with bullet holes. 

"Well now we know which way Jake went. I wonder why he's killing all the animals on his island?" you think aloud, following the trail of broken branches and snapped vines.

"Maybe he finally went off the deep end," Dave suggests.

"I doubt it," you say, rolling your eyes. "Out of all of our crazy friends, he's definitely not the most likely to actually go insane."

The trail leads you down to the beach, and footprints cover the sand. You follow them back into the jungle and follow the trail before coming up on a few big, dead, white snakes. You follow the path of destruction for about ten more minutes---seeing lots of other dead animals that are all white for some weird reason---until you hear gunshots firing.

"I don't know why, but I have the strangest sense that Jake is thataway," Dave says, pointing to where the gunshot sounds are coming from.

"I trust in your gut, Dave," you reply, leading the way down the path once again.

After only a few seconds of walking, you hear, "Die you evil animal scum! To the devil with you!" Several shots go off after this.

"Hmm, I wonder who that could be?" you ask sarcastically, pushing a big leaf aside to reveal Jake English himself standing in a circle of dead...are those crabs!?

"What the actual fuck?" Dave says, pushing his shades up when he joins you.

Jake whirls around and the two of you duck to avoid getting shot in the face. Thankfully, he doesn't actually fire off two shots aimed for you heads. After everything you've survived, it would suck to be killed by one of your friends because you snuck up on him.

"J-John!? And Dave!? What in the Dickens are you doing here!?" he exclaims, eyes blown wide. He runs over---completely ignoring the crabs blown to bits all around him---and shoves his guns in their holsters.

"Hi, Jake. Yeah, we're here. We're going around picking up all of our friends!" you explain, smiling.

"Sup, English. What's with all the animal corpses? You're not collecting skulls again, are you?" Dave says, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh, those." He glances down at the shell bits all around. "I don't know what is going on with them. Honestly, it's really quite annoyingly frustrating that they keep attacking me!"

"Do you think it has something to do with what's going on back home?" you turn to Dave and ask. He shrugs in reply.

"Oh that's just lovely. What's going on on the mainland that we'll have to deal with on top of all this tomfoolery?" Jake throws his hands up in the air.

"I'm guessing you haven't checked the news in a few days?" you ask.

"No, one of those stupid critters went into my room and smashed my computer to bits. I haven't had any contact with the mainland since, until now," Jake replies.

"Well...oh boy, it's a long story..." You scratch the back of your head.

"Zombie apocalypse," Dave says suddenly.

"Wh-what!?" Jake splutters.

"Zombie apocalypse. Egbert said it's a long story, but that's basically it in a nutshell." Dave shrugs.

"Nice way to summarize all the shit that's gone down since this whole thing started, Dave." You roll your eyes. He gives you an 'I'm just saying' expression.

"So, is there really an apocalypse going on? With zombies?"

"Yeah, it's real alright, and the zombies are just as real," you say absentmindedly, thinking about everything that'd happened since the stupid apocalypse started.

"That's fantastic!" Jake yells, his eyes sparkling with glee. You're pretty sure he's completely lost it, and give him a look that says so. "Well, I can't help but think it's fantastic! It will make for a grand adventure with all our chums, certainly!"

"...not all of them," you whisper, biting your lip.

Dave pats your back and says, "Jade's island was blown up by her fucking volcano when we got there just a little while ago."

"Whoa, really!?" Jake exclaims, giving you a sympathetic look. "Jade was such a good chum, she would entertain me by going on little adventures on our islands from time to time. She was a damn natural at using a rifle."

"She was always too good with a gun in her hands, huh?" You smile a bit wistfully, but you're in no danger of crying again. You've been doing too much of that since this whole shitstorm started.

"So, what's our objective now, men?" Jake asks, pulling out his pistols and grinning.

"To go to Cali and pick up Dirk and Roxy, if they're around," Dave answers and pulls out his sword to clean it with a leaf. "Wait a minute, speaking of Dirk, what the hell happened to the robot he made you? We saw it all busted up in your room."

"Oh, that old bean. He was destroyed along with my computer when some animals came in and ruined everything. I tried to fix the poor fellow, but my skills in engineering are not nearly good enough to fix something like that. I'll have to have Dirk fix him some time, it would be sad to see him go forever."

"Dirk would do that for you, I'm sure," you tell him, then stop to add, "As long as he and Roxy aren't infected, that is."

"I sure hope that they're doing alright..." Jake murmurs, staring off in the direction of the mainland again.

"It's Dirk we're talking about here, dude's almost as tough as me," Dave says, throwing his sword in the air and catching it perfectly. Show off.

"Yeah, and Roxy never gets drunk enough that she can't land a few well placed hits," you say, reassuring your friend. He's much closer to Dirk and Roxy than you are. And of course---though they're his cousins---Dave is too chill to outwardly show any worry, although you're certain he is somewhat concerned. Probably. Maybe. Look, you're not the best at reading Dave, alright? His cool kid façade is a pretty damn impenetrable wall of irony, shades, and not giving a shit.

"I suppose you're both correct, they wouldn't go down without a good brawl," Jake concedes, nodding his head.

"Do you want to grab some things before we head to Cali?" you ask him, looking at his tattered clothes that are covered in animal blood.

He looks down and coughs. "Um, yes, that appears to be quite the problem. I'll just run home and get some things. Be back in a jiffy." With that, Jake English runs off into the jungle, trigger-happy fingers holding his pistols.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you're about ready to murder Equius Zahhak. 

"What the everloving fuck do you mean you're not going anywhere? Have you lost whatever marbles you still had claim to in that twisted, fucked up place you call your head?" you question, glaring at Nepeta's older brother.

"Yes Equius, I believe I will have to side with my brother on this issue. Why in the world would you not want to come with us?" Kanaya puts in, delicately quirking an eyebrow.

"Up there, there is practically no chance of survival. With zombies running rampant, it is extremely likely that we will all die or be turned if we return to the surface. I promised my parents that I would protect Nepeta in their stead, and I intend to do so. If you cannot accept that, then I will have to forbid her from coming into contact with such reckless friends such as you," Equius replies, crossing his arms.

You're just about ready to make shit go down when Nepeta speaks up.

"Equius, I'm not a baby anymore! I'm bigger and stronger and tougher and I can fight! I want to go with Karkitty so we can meet up with our other friends and make a plan. We can all survive if we work together as a team, you know that as well as I do. I'm not going to just follow your orders all the time. I'm going to do the right thing by going with our friends and if you can't accept that then...maybe you don't really care about me enough to respect my choices," she ends quietly, staring up to meet his cracked shade lenses.

"Nepeta..." you trail off, stunned that she stood up to her big brother like that.

"Do you truly feel this way?" Equius questions.

"Yes," she replies, not backing down.

Equius is quiet for a moment, as if some thinking is actually going on in his tiny, insignificant, completely bat-shit crazy brain. Then he speaks, "Very well. We'll go."

"Really?" Nepeta asks, eyes shining with excitement.

"Yes, we will go with them. If you are going, then I must follow to protect you. I cannot allow your safety to simply be in the hands of Karkat and the others, now can I?" The bastard actually smiles, showcasing his jagged, messed up teeth (the fucker has way too many accidents with his fighting robots).

"You're the best, Equius!" Nepeta squeals and hugs her brother. Kanaya is smiling, Terezi looks bored, and you're fed up with all their shit.

"Alright, alright, cut the bullshit sibling antics, alright? We have a fuckton of people left to collect before we can meet up with Egbert and I'd rather not have it take all fucking year for us to get any work done," you intervene. Your patience can only take so much.

"Karkat is correct, there are still plenty more stops to make before we may all meet up and formulate a proper plan," Kanaya says, nodding her head.

"Whatever, I just want to get out of here. Too much brown and gray, it smells like shit and smoke had a baby down in this hellhole," Terezi complains, wrinkling her nose. You still don't believe that she can smell (and taste) color, you're sure she's bullshitting you.

"Stay here and hold the fort, okay Pounce de Leon? Watch over the house!" Nepeta orders, petting her cat's head. "Let's go!" she grabs your arm and drags you up the steps and out her house, your cusses continuing to be unheard.

"Nepeta! Nepeta! Nepeta hold the fuck up!" You grind your heels into the ground and she stops.

"Sorry, Karkitty!" 

Kanaya, Equius, and Terezi show up a moment later. "What's the hold up, Karkles?"

"I almost forgot, Egbert told me to have everyone sign in to Pesterchum and say that they've been collected and that they're not zombie-fied on the memo he made." You tell Terezi, Equius, and Nepeta the memo name, and they all take out their phones and boot up Pesterchum. 

After making sure they all checked in on the right memo, you're ready to get going. So much fucking ground to cover from here to Arizona, it'll take a while. You might have to steal a car or some shit like that.

"So who's next on the list?" Nepeta bounces up next to you as the five of you start walking.

"Gamzee, Tavros, and the spider bitch. I haven't heard from any of the fuckasses yet, but they're closest, so we might as well start there," you reply.

"Don't worry, I'm sure they're fine!" she says, picking up on your hidden concern.

"Fuck that noise, I'm not worried. It'll serve them right if they're zombies, lazy bastards can't pick up their fucking cell phones and send a quick message that they're, oh, I don't know, alive and shit?"

"You're totally worried, but it's okay, I won't tell anyone!" she winks at you.

This is guaranteed to be the longest, most excruciatingly horrible road trip you'll ever have the displeasure to embark on.


	10. The Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Hope you like this, but I have one question, are you ready for...

Your name is Eridan Ampora, and you are currently hugging a shark tank.

Normally, you're way too mature to hug a tank full of sea creatures (unlike your best friend, Feferi Peixes, who is hugging every single tank you're passing), but sharks are the coolest bastards ever---seahorses are a close second---because they're the kings of the ocean. Sharks are feared and respected, no one fucks with them. They do whatever they want, and no one gives a damn about it. You wish you were a shark, then maybe your stupidass friends wouldn't give you so much shit.

Anyways, back to the whole surrounded-by-fish-tanks-with-Feferi thing. She and you decided to go to the aquarium today because she wanted to celebrate the end of the third quarter of school. Her mom paid for the tickets since her daughter was a little golden child, getting all "A"s and shit. Well guess what, bitches, you have an A+ in science and history, so suck it. Who cares about math and language arts and all that shit?

You suddenly hear a loud squeal and look to see Feferi hugging the dolphin tank, pressing her face against the glass till it would leave an imprint. You roll your eyes and go back to hugging the shark tank.

"You guys are so fucking cool, w-why can't I be a shark too? I w-would be the king of the ocean and I could just eat anyone I didn't like." You sigh theatrically.

"Eridan! Eridan! Guess what!?" Feferi bounces up next to you, excitement gleaming in her eyes. She looks like she's about to explode in a fiery ball of pure glee.

"W-what is it? Can't you see I'm huggin' the shark tank? Some serious shit is goin' on ower here," you exclaim, rolling your eyes at her foolishness.

"They're doing a show here in twenty minutes! It'll have dolphins and orcas and even sharks! Can we go? Please!" She claps her hands together and begs like a puppy. Ugh, you can never say no to her when she gets like that. 

"Fine, I guess w-we can go," you concede.

Feferi proceeds to scream in happiness and then drag you into the stadium outside of the aquarium. The sky is so clear that it's just a sea of blue up there with the big yellow sun somewhere in the center. You take your seats near the front so you can get soaked with disgusting aquarium water because why the hell not, right?

The show starts and it's pretty cool, you guess. The dolphins are kind of stupid, but the killer whales and sharks are awesome. The trainers are really great with the animals, it actually looks like an interesting thing to do for a living. Suddenly, a giant splash of water hits you in the face and you cuss because oh shit your hair is ruined! Fucking dolphins, you hate the bastards, so smug and stupid and loved. Ugh, dolphins make you sick. Some tricks from the killer whales and some cool sharks swimming around calms you down though, and when the show ends, you can't help but applaud.

As you're leaving the aquarium, Feferi insists that you stop at the gift shop first. You reluctantly agree and not a minute later your arms are carrying two beach towels with dolphin prints and five stuffed animals: a dolphin, a stingray, a penguin, a polar bear, and a seal. Feferi gives you these big baby seal eyes that totally get you. Goddamn her, she knows how to manipulate you better than anyone. You pay for all her shit and start heading towards the entrance to the aquarium. Feferi says she has to use the bathroom, so you just go sit in the car and get the AC going. She comes back with a bag, the biggest grin on her face.

"W-what's in the bag?" you ask suspiciously.

"A present for you!" she exclaims and drops it in your lap. You eye it warily before carefully parting the tissue paper. Inside is the most adorable shark stuffed animal you've ever seen. You squeal (in a totally manly way) and hug it tightly.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! Fef, you're the best friend a guy could ask for!" You pull her into a hug.

"You're welcome, Eridan! And you're the best friend a gal could ask for too!" She smiles and returns the hug.

You drive her home, blaring music with the top of your convertible down to dry out your hair and clothes. She's laughing and holding her hands in the air, her long, dark brown hair flying everywhere. Your scarf is flipping around behind you too (only you would wear a scarf in Florida when it's not even winter). 

Eventually, you reach your destination, and Feferi gets out with her bags. She sends a friendly wave your way and goes into her house. You start heading home, putting the top back on your car and turning down the music. 

When you get home, you unlock the front door and step inside. "Anybody home?" You're met with a wall of silence, and you sigh dejectedly. "I guess not. W-what else is new-w?"

You go to your room, change into pajamas, and curl up on your bed with your new stuffed shark. You've given him the name Sei because it looks like sea and it's part of PoSEIdon's name and he's the greek god of the sea so it fits. He's really soft and huggable and you're so glad Fef bought him for you you really could use something to hug.

"I hope Dad's okay...let's hope he at least has a designated driwer w-with him."

Ever since your mom and dad got divorced, your dad's been a wreck. He stopped caring about everything, he ate a shit ton of junk food, slept practically all day, and cried an ocean of tears. It was really hard for you, you were only 6 years old. You didn't understand why your dad was falling apart, why your mom left you, why she didn't want either of you anymore. You barely remember anything about your mom now, she's just some ghost that haunts your dad. 

And you guess it would've been fine if he continued to be a lazy, heartbroken asshole, but things just didn't work out like that. Your dad got over that phase of their initial separation, and moved on to the second stage about a year later. He still didn't care about anything and he still slept and ate a lot, but he no longer cried. Now your dad drinks his sorrows away. He goes out to the busiest clubs with the sluttiest bitches and the dumbest fucktards and drinks all his memories away.

He never cries, but he has plenty of time to scream. Scream and scream and scream at her, at you, at everything. He becomes violent and angry, ranting to her asking why she left him, ranting to you wondering if it's all your fault, ranting to the world about all of its injustices. You always hate it when he gets like that to the point where you're almost happy he's never around. But he's still your dad, and the part of you that loves him really wishes he'd be there for you, that you could be there for him.

You sigh deeply and reach for the remote on your nightstand. You absentmindedly flip through the channels on the little T. V. in your bedroom, until you stumble upon something horrifying. 

"It's unbelievable. Doctor Scratch's cure is spreading farther and faster than we originally anticipated. Already, most of the northwestern area of the U. S. is infected with these horrible, zombie-like people." The news reporter's image is replaced by a picture of a woman who looks more dead than alive. She scares the shit out of you with her green, sagging skin, puss-dripping wounds, and hate-filled eyes. 

You scramble wildly for your phone and dial Feferi's number as fast as you can get your fingers to move. There's the dreadful ringing that holds you with baited breath, and then, "Hello? Eridan? What's up?"

You sigh in relief and say, "Fef, thank God you're okay!"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she asks.

"...turn on the new-ws," you whisper into the microphone. 

"Okay? What channel?" she questions, you can almost hear her shrug of indifference.

"Any channel, it's big, it'll be eweryw-where."

"Alright."

You hear the pop of the T. V. coming on and listen as she flips through channels. She lands on a local news station, and you hear them relay similar information to what you heard recently. It's dead quiet on her line besides the drone of the news reporter's voice.

"Fef? Feferi? Are you okay?" you ask in concern, furrowing your eyebrows in worry.

"H-how did we not hear about this earlier?" she whispers finally.

"I don't know-w, all I know-w is that w-we're in some deep shit, Fef," you admit.

"All those people..." she mutters.

"Shh, it's gonna be alright, shh, they're not here yet," you sooth both her and yourself.

"Eridan, w-what are we g-going to d-do?" she mumbles fearfully, you can hear the tears overflowing.

"...I don't know-w. I don't. Fucking. Know-w."

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Tavros Nitram, and you can't feel your legs.

Haha, that's just a joke, you can never feel your legs. Except now, you can't feel much of anything else excluding your dry tongue, heavy eyelids, and pounding brain. You feel like you were run over with a truck, and then it decided to back the fuck up and roll over you again.

"Uuuuggggghhhhhh," you groan and attempt to sit up. Yeah, whoa, that's not happening anytime soon. You sigh and carefully flop back onto the ground. Why are you even on the ground? Why were you asleep? Why do you feel like shit? The longer you're awake, the more alert you are. You still don't remember why you passed out and why you feel like shit, but you notice that Vriska is passed out beside you and Gamzee is gone. You know he was here, you just don't know why or how.

Slowly, you use your arms to scoot you along the ground towards Vriska. You need to get her up so she can help you figure out what's going on. You don't even want to know where Gamzee ran off to and what he has to do with this.

"Vriska. Vriska, please wake up. It would be, uh, really great if you'd get up. There's some pretty, uh, serious shit going on. Vriska?" You poke her arm, her shoulder, her face, even. No response. You shake her as best you can lying down. Nothing. You won't slap her, that's just mean, but you try just about everything else and nothing is working. She's out cold.

You suddenly have a moment of clarity and remember that you have your phone in your pocket. Quickly, you fish it out. You're about to text your dad when you notice that there's a notification on Pesturchum. You boot it up to find that you've been added to the memo, ZOMBIEASSKICKERS by none other than John Egbert.

\--adiosToreador [AD] RIGHT NOW responded to memo--

AD: uH, hI GUYS,  
AD: jUST THOUGHT I'D DROP IN,  
AD: gAMZEE, vRISKA, aND I ARE FINE, fOR THE MOST PART,  
AD: wE'RE AT MY HOUSE,  
AD: wELL, aCTUALLY, gAMZEE KIND OF, uH, dISAPPEARED?  
AD: vRISKA'S OUT COLD,  
AD: aND I'M KIND OF, sTUCK, oN THE FLOOR,  
ectoBiologist [EB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo  
EB: hey tavros, it's good to hear from you!  
EB: why is vriska asleep and why are you on the floor?  
AD: kIND OF A, lONG STORY,,,  
AD: tHAT I HONESTLY DON'T, uH, rEMEMBER,  
EB: ?  
AD: i WAS KNOCKED OUT TOO,  
AD: i THINK GAMZEE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT,  
AD: bUT HE'S GONE NOW,  
AD: }:(  
EB: don't worry tavros, stay strong!   
EB: help is on the way!  
AD: fROM WHO? yOU?  
EB: nope! :B  
EB: my co-friendleader is on his way!  
AD: oH, yOU MEAN KARKAT,  
AD: gOOD, mAYBE HE CAN HELP ME TRACK DOWN GAMZEE,  
EB: good luck! i'll see you soon, hopefully, try not to die or get infected or anything.  
AD: wILL DO,

\--adiosToreador [AD] and ectoBiologist [EB] have logged off--

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Aradia Megido and you're about to kill yourself to save the zombies the trouble.

Seriously, if the apocalypse was going to happen while you're still alive, couldn't it at least have been something faster and more interesting? The zombies are SO SLOW, it'll still be several hours before they hit the northernmost part of Arizona, let alone Phoenix where you are. You really wish you could exchange your apocalypse, this sucks major ass.

"This sucks major ass, Sollux," you relay to your best friend and practically brother.

"No fucking dip, AA. Thith definitely ithn't what either of uth expected out of thith apocalypthe. It'th taking far too long for anything interethting to even happen." He groans and facepalms for probably the hundredth time in the past ten minutes.

"Why this?" you ask no one in particular before laying down fully next to Sollux. He's fiddling with your hair because he has nothing left to do and it's all over him anyways since your hair is so long. 

You and Sollux have been the best of friends for forever. Your parents are great friends, so it's really a second generation friendship. You'd find that awesome if you guys' parents would actually do things with you and Sollux instead of just running off to do their own thing. It really used to bother you that you never got any attention from your parents, but you got over it and focused on having Sollux's attention instead. Together, you ceased to give a shit about your respective sets of parents. You two practically raised yourselves since they were never really around, so you basically became siblings by anything but blood. 

You'd die for him, he'd die for you, you love each other so platonically it's like you're spewing rainbows of friendly/sibling love, and yet both of you never give two shits about anything. A long time ago when you were little and still cared, you and Sollux would do bad things together so you'd get more attention from your parents, but that never worked. One thing you did was tell kids about the apocalypse and how it would kill everyone, whenever it came, however it came. At first it was a joke, but then you and he actually became what your friends call "obsessed." 

You waited and waited and waited for years, coming up with theories and plans, talking for hours on end about what it would be like if the world ended, and now that it's actually happening, you're lying in Sollux's bed with absolutely nothing to do except die of boredom.

You can't even message your friends because his stupid power went out and your house is on the other side of the city and you're WAY too lazy to walk that far. Life is just extremely BORING and it SUCKS and you HATE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

"God, take me now," you mutter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Eridan OOC for a reason! (Or maybe I didn't and I just really suck at writing an accurately evil and annoying Eridan. The world may never know the real reason!)


	11. Time to Start Getting Serious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays, everyone! Sorry it's been awhile since the last update.

Your name is Nepeta Leijon, and you are so furricking excited!

You're traveling with the best rag-tag team of zombie-killers ever, and you're on your way to add more to your current quintet. So far, you know that---on top of everyone currently with you---John, Dave, Jake, Tavros, and Vriska are alive. Gamzee is missing, but he's probably still around Tavros's place somewhere. You guess you're about to find out! Next stop is that very house!

You've all been walking for several hours in the woods, dealing with stray zombies along the way, and you're just now heading into southern Wyoming. It's taking a really long time to walk all the way to Denver, but you have no choice. Karkat doesn't want to get too close to any cities or towns and you don't have a car. 

"Karkitty, how much longer?" you ask, swinging your claws around as you walk. They're these really cool gloves that Equius gave you for your birthday a few years ago that have long metal claws attached between the knuckles. The leather gloves fit perfectly and the metal is made of some rare material that's as strong as a Strider-level blades. Equius used to make you practice with them every day while he practiced his archery (he has his metal bow and quiver full of arrows with him now). You guess it's a good thing he did, they're perfect for slicing zombies into ribbons.

"A few more days? I don't know exactly. That shitty Google maps thing said it takes about five days to walk from home to Denver, and we've only been walking for about eight hours, with some breaks in between," he grumbles back, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Five days!" you exclaim, staring at him with saucer-eyes.

"Karkat, five days? That is quite a long time, and they are the closest of the many friends we have yet to collect. I fear it would take months to gather up everyone John has told us to get," Kanaya says worriedly.

"Well do any of you fucknuggets have any better ideas? We don't have a car, we're not hitching a ride on a train, plane, or bus, so we're left with walking like the pathetic shitholes we are." He rolls his eyes.

"That's it!" You jump up and down in excitement.

"What is is, Nepeta? Do you happen to have a better idea than walking for five days?" Equius asks.

"Yes, I do! A car!" you shout.

"Hate to break it to you, Nepeta, but Karkles is right, we don't have a car," Terezi says, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Yes, yes, I know, I know!" You wave your hand dismissively. "But we can get a car."

"And how do you propose we do that, Nepeta?" Karkat asks sarcastically.

"Acquiring a car is not exactly easy, especially during a time where everyone is traveling away from this general area of the country as quickly as they possibly can," Kanaya states, looking at you dubiously.

"We'll go to an abandoned town or city! All we have to do is follow a major road, and we'll find one eventually! There's bound to be at least one car somewhere that wasn't taken or was left behind. Who knows, we might even find a car sitting on a road, abandoned for whatever reason!" you say enthusiastically.

Everyone seems to consider it. Heavily or lightly, they're all at least thinking about it. Equius is the first to speak up. 

"I believe this to be a very plausible and very beneficial idea. It will save us plenty of energy, and we will be able to carry more supplies with us if we use a car," he says, smiling slightly in your direction.

"This might be worth attempting, there is a variety of benefits we may gain from coming into possession of a car," Kanaya says, nodding her head in thoughtful agreement.

"Are you all fucking insane? Have your thinkpans rotted away in those stupid skulls of yours? What are the chances that with our shitty luck we'll find a vehicle that is not only just randomly out there for the taking with no fucking consequences whatsoever, but is also in full working order? Seriously, people are stupid fuckwads, but I don't think anyone at a time like this is crazy enough to leave a fully operational car, or to not take one if it's found," Karkat states matter-of-factly. He's flailing his arms and glaring at all of you as if your stupidity is personally offending him.

"Karkat," Terezi says out of nowhere. She has a hint of a smirk on her face, you wonder what she's up to?

"What, Terezi?" he replies, rolling his eyes and turning to look at her.

"Egbert and Strider are going around picking people up too, right? Well they're such shit for brains, there's no way they'll think of getting a car. And while they have less friends to collect, they have a bit of a harder route to follow than we do. It'll probably take them weeks to get all the way up to New York from Jade's and Jake's islands, assuming they can even get to those islands. And even they, they have to stop by LA first to get Dirk and Roxy. If we get a car, we'll be so much faster, it won't even be funny how quickly we'll have gathered everyone up. And by the time Egbert and Strider actually catch up to us in our meeting place, you can rub it in their faces that you got more people than they did in a hell of a lot less time." Terezi is full-on grinning at this point, which makes her look like a smiling dragon. You have to admit, she has pretty good persuasion techniques! 

Karkat thinks on that for a moment. You can tell that he's imagining how he'll be able to hold this over John's and Dave's heads for a LONG time. That's hardly an opportunity he can pass up.

He nods and concedes, "All right, we'll get a fucking car. Or at least, we'll try to get a hold of one."

The rest of you cheer. Finally! Now all you need to do is find a working car, and you're set! This whole apocalypse thing might be getting a lot easier real soon! You hope your theory is right, you're sick of walking.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you are currently knitting up a storm.

What with the zombie apocalypse in full swing, you suppose it cannot hurt to have a surplus of warm clothing. It could very well save your life at some point in the future.

So far, you have finished four hats, one sweater, three scarves, and about ten pairs of socks. You still have plenty of work to do, but you don't mind. It's good to have something to keep your hands and mind busy. 

As you knit, you have the news playing on the T. V. in your living room. You're sure that not all of it is accurate information, but it does give you a general idea of the state of the world at the moment. Apparently, the infection has spread through all of Northwestern America and is quickly moving to the South and East. It seems that ever day, another state is overrun with the infected people.

You aren't worried about yourself, seeing as you're up in New York. It will take much longer for the infection to reach you. However, you are quite concerned about your friends. Many of them live where the infection has spread or is heading towards; John even lives where the infection first started. You know that he and Dave are alright, but you aren't sure if anyone else is. You assume that Karkat and Kanaya are alright, not much can kill them, but you don't know for sure. You've tried Pestering them, but they never seem to be online.

All you can do is wait. Wait and worry and knit. As you make another scarf, your thoughts fly with the thread, looping around each other and forming into a giant web of worry. The clink of your needles punctuates each thought.

Clink. How are John and Dave fairing? Clink. Are they still alive and well? Clink. Did they ever manage to reach Jade and Jake? Clink. ...How is Kanaya? Clink. Are she and Karkat together? Clink. Have they had any luck finding other friends of ours? Clink. ...Will I be the only one left?

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Vriska Serket, and you are gonna slap a clown.

"I can't believe him! That motherfucker drugged us and left us here!? What the fuck is wrong with him!?!?!?!?" you shout, flailing your arms around.

You woke up a few minutes ago with a headache that felt like monkeys pounding hammers on your skull. Tavros was lying on the floor next to you, already awake. You helped him into his wheelchair, and when you asked where Gamzee ran off to, he told you he had no idea. That's when you remembered. That fucking pie. It did something to your head, you have no idea what, but whatever it was, it hurts like a bitch.

"Uh, Vriska? You need to calm down. I'm sure Gamzee didn't, uh, mean to leave us here. And he could have a number of reasons for...uh...drugging us...with a...pie." Tavros grimaces. You know that he knows his arguments are as useless as his legs.

"Mmhmm." You roll your eyes at him. Asshat can't even defend his own boyfriend because this situation is so shitty for said insane clown.

"I'm going to fucking murder that asshole!!!!!!!!" you growl, kicking Tavros's coffee table.

"Vriska!" he shouts, looking panicked. "Don't hurt my furniture because you're mad at Gamzee!"

"Well why would Vrissis be mad at motherfucking me?" 

You turn to see Gamzee standing in the doorway to the living room. He has several plastic bags and three backpacks with him.

"Gamzee!" Tavros exclaims, smiling at the douchnozzle.

Said juggalo smiles and walks over, ruffling his boyfriend's hair. "Hey Tavbro, miss me?"

"Gamzee. Motherfucking. Makara," you spit out, hands clenched into fists.

"Yes, I am the Gamzee," he turns and looks at you. "What's got you flipping your wicked shit, sis?"

"You. Drugged. Me. And. Tavros. With. A. Fucking. Pie."

"Oh yeah, that." He laughs and scratches the back of his head. 

Hold the fucking phone.

He laughed.

...

HE LAUGHED!!!!!!!!

"I'M GOING TO KIIIIIIIILL YOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!" you lunge at him, screaming bloody murder.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Chill, Vrissis, chill! I can all up and motherfucking explain myself!" Gamzee yelps, backing away and holding up his hands.

You stand still for a moment, glaring, silently daring him to try.

"...Okay, so like, I actually don't know what the hell I was motherfucking thinking when I made that pie. Maybe I was already drugged or drunk or some shit." You glare at him pointedly. "Yeah alright I'm always drugged and drunk but whatever! The point is, I was going a little bit crazy and I did something stupid but it's over now. I'm trying to be motherfucking serious about this whole apocalypse shit and get my motherfucking survival on, but for that to work, you need to not kill me."

Tavros is awkwardly sitting at the sidelines, eyes flitting back and forth between the two of you worriedly. You can feel the tension in the room rising, and you really REALLY want to kill this bastard, but...you glance at Tavros. He'd be pretty pissed if you killed his boyfriend, and the stupidass clown does seem to have some supplies with him...

"I can't fucking beliiiiiiiieve I'm saying this, but fine, I won't kill you. For now." You groan, facepalming yourself as you reluctantly concede.

Gamzee grins like he's high (which he probably is) and says, "Motherfucking miracles! Now, to get down to what I was all up and trying to say about being motherfucking serious." He places the bags on the coffee table. "I picked up some shit from the stores. It was a motherfucking mob out there, everyone flipping their wicked shit and all that, but I was able to get this sweet pile of shit."

You sift through the stuff Gamzee got. Water bottles, cans of nonperishables, blankets, some extra clothes (although some of the shit won't fit any of you), a random can of oil, a few bottles of Faygo (you roll your eyes, of fucking course), and some other random shit. All in all, not a bad pile of loot. You assume the backpacks are for carrying all this shit. He really is prepared, you're kind of mildly impressed.

"Good job, Gamzee. I'm sure this stuff will, uh, come in handy," Tavros says while picking up a baby shirt. "...Uh, well, maybe not all of it."

All of the sudden, something starts honking. It scares the shit out of you. "What the fuck is that????????" you question, one eye flitting across the room.

"That'd be me, sis. Calm your motherfucking self, it's just my phone," Gamzee answers, pulling out said device. 

He opens it and goes to what must be Pesterchum. "It's Karbro!" he exclaims, grinning.

He reads the messages and then states, "Well o-motherfucking-kay best friend."

"What did that grouch say?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Looks like we're parking our motherfucking selves right here. Karbro and some other bros and sisses are heading over here to pick up our sorry asses."

"Oh, I, uh, already knew that," Tavros inputs. "I was talking to John earlier and he, uh, told me that Karkat was coming here."

"You talked to John?" Suddenly, this got a lot more interesting.

"Yeah."

"How's he doing? I'm sure he's kicking lots of zombie ass, riiiiiiiight?" You grin.

"I actually don't, uh, know. He didn't really say. I just know that he's, uh, alive and stuff," Tavros admits. You pout. "Sorry, Vriska."

"I'll have to talk to him myself soon and see what he's been up to, then!" you declare, plopping back down on the couch. "Well, it looks like we'll be here awhile. Might as well get comfortable."

"Actually, Vrissis, we should probably pack up all this shit," Gamzee comments, eyeing the pile on the coffee table.

You sigh deeply. "Oh, alright, fine! This is going to be so booooooooring!"

~*~*~*~*

Your name is John Egbert, and you want to sigh in relief and maybe kiss the ground.

You're finally back on the mainland, and it feels fantastic. Even if there's a horrible zombie apocalypse going on right now, even if you're now in huge danger, you're just happy to be back on a gigantic mass of land again. Islands and the ocean always make you nervous, for some reason. You can swim just fine, you love going to the beach and swimming in the water, but boating out on it for a long time and staying on islands always leaves you jittery. ...Jade's volcano blowing up and killing her doesn't help much with that, either.

"So, should we go look for Dirk and Roxy now?" you ask as Jake and Dave join you on the sand. Your "borrowed" boat is docked just a few yards away, safely tied up. 

"Yeah. The sooner we find them, the sooner we can start heading for New York. That's a trip I'm not overly excited to go on, but we kind of have to," Dave says in answer, looking out over the ocean.

"Great! Let's get started, old chaps!" Jake exclaims, rubbing his hands together in excitement.

"Alright, Egbert, Strider, and English to the rescue!" you joke, turning away from the waves and looking to the land beyond.

Dave shakes his head and he's probably rolling his eyes. "You fucking dork."

"Roxy and Dirk are in LA, aren't they?" you ask.

"Yeah, last I heard. They're in some apartment building near a famous casino," Dave replies.

"Well then what're we waiting for? Let's go!" Jake demands.

The three of you set off, heading towards LA which you'll reach in about five hours, according to Google maps. You can't help but sigh; this is going to be one hell of a walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the shittiness of this chapter.


	12. Everything's Going According to Plan…Or Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super, super long wait! I was being a major butt and I wasn't writing much outside of school stuff. Hope you enjoy this chapter, I made it longer to cover more and to kind of make up for the long off time! (Just an FYI, I'm not going to be checking up on a lot of our cast of characters for the next two chapters or so because of important plot stuff that I've been planning for awhile. The story is going to center mainly around who you'll see in this chapter for some time).

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you're currently contemplating joining Roxy in the Land of Raging Drunks.

As soon as you heard about the invasion of zombies headed your way, you went straight to her apartment. Big surprise, she was already drunk off her ass. Apparently, she didn't want to be sober at the end of the world. Right now, you don't know if you want to be, either.

You've tried contacting several of your friends, but no one has answered you yet. You're trying to convince yourself not to flip your shit over worrying about Jake or Dave or Jane, and maybe that would be easier with a stomach full of liquor.

You slap yourself. No, Dirk. Someone here needs to be alert and attentive. Bro and Mom aren't here, so it's up to you to keep an eye on Roxy. Be a responsible Strider. That is a thing you can be. Speaking of Bro and Mom, where the fuck are they? You'd think they'd bother to actually make an appearance when you're all about to become zombies. But no, still neglectful as always. Irresponsible bastards.

"Diiiiiiiikr. D-Dirrree. Dick. Dirky. Dirky Dirk," Roxy slurs, gesturing in your direction with a wineglass in hand.

"What? You know, Roxy, maybe you've had enough alcohol for one apocalypse." You reach over and pluck the wineglass from her hand, then throw it and all the bottles of liquor out into the hallway. There, her neighbors can go nuts.

"Diiiiiiiirk don't tack my drunks! T-take. Drinks," she whines, grabbing at your arms.

You sigh. "What did you want to say to me earlier?"

"Ohhhhhhh. Oh! Oh yah. J-Janey nd I talped. Talked. Like, befour you cum. Came."

"What. You actually talked to Crocker?"

"Yuuuuup," she pops the p.

"What did you guys talk about? What did she say?"

"She sad thet she wash shtill safe nd shit. W-wanterd to kno hoe we weer doin."

Huh. Well at least Crocker isn't in any deep shit. You and Lalonde on the other hand? Who knows. Fuckers are coming for you, that's for sure. And what about English? He's on an island, so hopefully he's good. That probably means Harley is okay, too. You wonder how your other cousins are doing...Dave and Rose.... They live farther East, the infection probably hasn't hit their states yet...but wait. Shit. You almost forgot about Egbert. There's no way in hell Dave would've left him alone right where the disease fucking started. ...Well...at least if they're together, they won't be totally screwed. 

Oh, who are you even kidding? EVERYONE is totally screwed.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Kanaya Maryam, and you are so exhausted you might as well be dead on your feet.

Your brother Karkat, Terezi, Equius, Nepeta, and yourself have been searching for a running car for hours. Every car you pass must be checked for any damages, then hot-wired if keys are not conveniently located nearby. A handful of cars have actually started, but they all had completely empty tanks. The rest did nothing more than cough and wheeze back into sleep. This whole "looking for a functioning car" quest is turning out to be an utter catastrophe.

"Karkaaaaaaaaaat!" You hear Nepeta whine.

"WHAT!?" he yells back in frustration, kicking the door of the car he had just checked.

"Can we please stop and take a break fur a little while?" she asks, giving your brother the dreaded kitten eyes.

Karkat, of course, scoffs and replies, "Says the girl who fucking had this idea in the first place."

Nepeta makes quite a pitiful little mewling sound, and Karkat's resolve---thankfully---crumbles. "Fine," he growls. "We can rest up ahead in that building, if it checks out okay." Your eyes follow his pointing finger to see a moderately sized city structure.

"I do believe that building is a hotel," Equius comments, adjusting his cracked sunglasses.

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Terezi says with a grin. "Let's get going already!"

With that, the five of you set off again, in the direction of the abandoned hotel. Karkat still has you all checking cars that you happen to pass on the way, but none of them work either. This is getting quite bothersome, and you're almost certain that a working vehicle with a full---or even partially full---tank of gas cannot be found.

"GODDAMMIT!" Karkat screeches and kicks the car he just checked.

You sigh. "I was afraid of this. I am almost certain that every car we find will only still be here due to malfunctions or little to no gas levels." Nepeta makes a sad sound of distress, while Equius just nods in agreement and Terezi groans.

Suddenly, Equius points to the building you all are headed towards and you look up. "At least we are getting close," he says.

"That is true. Look on the bright side, Karkat. We'll be able to rest soon enough." You smile and place a calming hand on his shoulder. No sense letting him flip his shit, he'll end up hurting himself.

Karkat huffs in angered annoyance and storms on once again. You all follow his lead, until finally the building is towering high above you. Equius was right, the building is in fact a hotel. It seems to be old and abandoned, though. Even when people still lived in this city, it was not running.

"This is...strangely unsettling. I wonder why the place was abandoned, as it now stands. It has many floors, several rooms, and it looks sturdy. Even if the interior is horrid, I doubt that would be enough to stop customers from coming in," you remark, your eyes running all the way up the building.

"Does it matter? No, no it fucking doesn't. Let's just get in and find a room already," Karkat grumbles and kicks the doors open. The wood that was barring the door shut splinters and flies off in every direction possible. The doors fly open and smack the walls, sending a dull thudding noise throughout the building. Dust scatters as the five of you step inside, cautiously surveying the area. 

"Ooh, this place looks purretty neat! Even if it is a bit old and musty!" Nepeta says, running around the lobby and stirring up even more dust.

"Nepeta, don't wander off. I don't want anything to happen to you," Equius cautions, watching her movements.

"Don't be such a worrywart, Equius!" she responds, sticking out her tongue.

"For once, Zahhak is right. Don't go running off, we don't know what the fuck could be in here," Karkat says, glancing around.

"Hopefully nothing." Terezi walks over to the wall and knocks on it with her fist. She listens to the sound, nods, and then whacks the ceiling with her cane. More flecks of dust rain down, which is absolutely disgusting, but it seems to make her happy. She grins and announces, "The building appears to be structurally sound, Captain Karkles!" Terezi mock solutes in his general direction.

You nod and sigh in relief. "Thank God. At least we won't have that to worry about."

"Of course, something could still be lurking around here," Terezi says with a grin.

"Yeah, some disgusting skank like you," Karkat says with an eye roll. "Come on, let's go."

Nepeta pops her head up from behind the front desk with room keys in hand. "Got us our room keys! Come on, I'll lead the way!" She jumps around and marches up the stairs.

"Oh fuck, that's right. Elevators won't be working, will they?" Terezi says with a groan. 

"I'm afraid not, Terezi," you say, following Nepeta up the stairs.

"What fucking floor are we on, Nepeta?" Karkat calls out to her, trudging his way up the stairs alongside you.

"14!" You hear her call from the flight of stairs above you. What.

"What. The. FUCK!? WHY ARE WE GOING ALL THE WAY TO THE FOURTEENTH FLOOR!? THERE'S NO ONE ELSE IN THIS GODDAMN HOTEL!" Karkat yells up, flailing his arms in rage. You wince, thinking of how long you've walked already. Now this.

"Because silly, all the keys fur other floors were missing or broken. The 14th floor was the best I could pawsibly do!" she replies, still running ahead. Equius is following her, not going quite as fast, but going much faster than you, Karkat, and Terezi. Terezi has one hand on the rail, the other twirling her cane as she climbs her way up the flights of stairs. You're walking in between her and Karkat, who is stomping his feet and grumbling to himself.

On the 5th flight, Terezi suddenly cackles and says, "You know what Egbert is going to say when he finds out about this?"

"No, what?" you answer, tilting your head in confusion.

"Don't fucking say it," Karkat warns.

"'I warned you about those stairs, man,'" she quotes, grinning like a maniac. You remember the joke and shake your head with a little laugh, while Karkat makes this noise that sounds akin to a snake having the wind knocked out of it.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Dave Strider, and your feet ache like hell.

You, Egbert, and English finally made it to L. A. And just in time. From what John gathered on his phone, the infection is spreading quickly down through California. It's only about an hour or so away now. In that span of time, you have to get Dirk and Roxy, find a way to get either a boat or a plane or some shit, and get the hell outta there before zombies invade the place.

Yippee.

"So, where do we go, Dave?" John asks, nudging you with his elbow.

"Uh...shit. Give me a second," you say, looking around. You know what the casino they live by looks like, you just have no fucking clue what it's called or where it is.

"Are you looking for that casino they live by?" Jake asks.

"Yeah," you answer.

"What does it look like?" John holds a hand over his eyes and looks around.

"It's pretty tall, with this bigass peacock sign, all done up in a bunch of neon lights. But so is every sign here." You sigh and keep looking. They help you out, looking for the building you described.

"Hey Dave, is the building itself whiter than a sheet?" John says.

"Yup."

"Found it!" he exclaims, pointing in the direction he was looking in. Your eyes follow his pointing finger all the way to the sign, and you see the tall white building with the flashy neon peacock sitting on top.

"That's the one," you say.

"Then, is that their apartment building?" Jake points to a brown building about half the casino's size that's sitting on the corner of the street.

"Sure is. C'mon, let's go get the fuckers." You start picking your way across the last bit of natural ground before hitting the asphalt. You know that hailing a cab or trying to find space on a bus will be useless, so you just gather your strength (you've got fucking heaps of it) and walk. John and Jake are right behind you, realizing why you're just walking when they see about ten people trying to clamor into one little taxi that pulls up near you.

"It's just a few blocks, no big deal. We'll make it," you say, shoving your hands in your pockets to avoid hitting anything.

"Yeah..." John says. Both of the nerds you're with are glancing around nervously and jumping at every loud noise or bump from another pedestrian.

"What's your problem? You look like you've seen a ghost," you question, turning around to quirk your eyebrow at them. 

John's eyes dart up to look at you and he kind of whines. Jake rubs his arms awkwardly and he looks hella uncomfortable. "It's just...we're both not really used to...this many people..." John mumbles.

Jake nods. "Right you are, ol' chap. It's a bit...uncomfortable, to say the least. Sorry, Strider. Let's just carry onwards!" He forces his way through a throng of people and you follow him, John pressed up against you due to people surrounding the three of you.

"You doin' alright, Egbert?" you ask, looking over and down at him.

John looks like he's about to answer, when some random guy (who's probably drunk off his ass, from the way he's walking) bumps into him. This causes John to jump like a seriously pissed off and freaked out cat and he latches onto you. He's being seriously adorkable right now, damn.

"I got you, dude. Don't flip your shit," you say, trying to calm him down. John slowly relaxes and he doesn't look so wound up like a spring anymore, but he's still practically glued to your side. You finally make your way out of the worst of the crowd, and after a few minutes, John detaches and scoots away.

"Sorry, Dave. I just..." He pauses and ruffles his hair. "I really hate getting cramped up, y'know? Being cooped up in a small space or being stuck in the middle of a huge group of people, it just kind of freaks me out."

"No need to apologize, bro," you answer. "Now c'mon, English is way ahead of us, and I don't trust the fucker all out and about by himself in this crazy city. He'll get swept up by some freakish Avatar cosplayer and we'll never see his ass again." John nods and the two of you hurry off.

Jake is waiting for you just a few buildings away from Dirk's and Roxy's apartment building, leaning against a light post. "Took you long enough, mates!" he comments with a grin when seeing you.

"Not my fault you hauled ass outta that crowd," you reply. The three of you set off for the building once more, and fina-fucking-lly make it. 

"Which floor are they on?" John asks, staring up at the building and counting said floors, no doubt.

"Six, I think," you say and open the door to the ground floor. John and Jake follow as you walk over to the set of elevators and press the button for the sixth floor. You step onto the elevator when it arrives, and find yourself alone with two dorks. 

"What's the room number?" John is fiddling with his backpack straps while waiting for the elevator to stop.

"No clue, but I think we'll know it when we see it."

The elevator dings and grinds to a halt. The doors open and the three of you step out into the hallway. Down the hall you go, checking door numbers and hoping one will click in your mind.

"Strider, look out!" Jake calls out suddenly.

"What?" You don't stop in time and end up falling flat on your fucking face because you tripped over something. Smooth Dave, real smooth. "What the fuck was that?" You look down and see a bunch of wine bottles strewn along the ground. 

"Well, it looks like we found our apartment," John says, staring at the door number.

You stand and look at it too. "Ha, of course it's 666, that's fucking gold." You knock and wait for someone to answer it. You wonder if it's Dirk's or Roxy's, then figure that it doesn't matter since they'll probably be together anyways.

The door swings open, and you're greeted with a face-full of Dirk. He stands there, staring at you for a minute, then pulls you into a hug. 

"Whoa dude, what the fuck? Don't get all clingy on me, Dirk, Jesus," you say, but hug him back anyways. 

"Thank fuck you're still alive." He pulls away and looks behind you. "'Sup John?"

"Oh, just a zombie apocalypse, y'know, the usual," he replies, giving Dirk a grin. "Nice to see you."

"Ditto." Dirk looks to the other present party. "...Hey Jake."

"Well hello yourself, Dirk. Golly, it's been a while hasn't it? How've you been holding up, chum?" Jake rambles, chuckling a little.

"Just fine, aside from dealing with this recent mountain of shit," he says. He then backs up and opens up the door wider. "C'mon in."

You walk inside, the others coming after you, and see Roxy leaning over the back of the couch. "Hey Roxy, what's up?"

Her head shoots up and she smiles. "Davey! Omg Davey's here, Dirk, why didn you tell me?" She runs over and gives you a hug. You hug her back, but recoil when you smell her. "Holy shit, Rox, you smell like an alcoholic that just binged at the liquor store."

She giggles in response before moving and attacking the person directly behind you. "Heyyyyy blue boy! How're you doin' on ths fine day?" 

John laughs. "Hi Roxy, I'm doing okay. It's great to see you again, even if you're a bit more inebriated than last time."

Roxy then turns to Jake and latches onto him as well. "Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake! Jakey Jake Jake you're here too omg! Ish like a party up en here!" 

"Sure, Lalonde, it's a fucking fiesta," Dirk says, probably rolling his eyes behind his shades.

Roxy makes her way back to the couch and flops over the back again. Jake and John go sit on either side of her, while you and Dirk stand opposite each other behind the two nerds. The two of you start talking about what's been going on the past few days, catching up a bit. It uh, gets a little bit heavy for a minute or so when John's Dad comes back up.

"What!?" Jake exclaims. "Why didn't I hear about this earlier? Great Scotts, John, how are you faring?"

John bites his lip hard and his hands are clenched into fists in his lap. He looks like he's about to snap, and you're not too sure which direction he'll be snapping in. Then, he takes a deep, calming breath, lets it all out, and loosens up. "I'm fine. It happened and there's nothing I can do about it now. Let's just get back to the story."

Dirk gives him a sideways worried glance, but lets John have this. The rest of you try to ignore that little moment and get on with the recap of all the shit that's been going down. Dirk tenses a bit when Jade is mentioned, and you all quiet down for a bit, but that moment passes too. Eventually, you catch up to the present at some point and Dirk asks what your plans are now.

"We're trying to gather up all our friends. Karkat and I split up the list and we're picking our way across the country getting everyone. Our next stop is New York, we have to get Rose outta there," John answers.

"Only problem is, getting to New York from California during a motherfucking apocalypse is no cake walk," you say with a sigh, adjusting your shades.

"Yeah, it's not just a hop, skip, and a swim away." Dirk nods and looks like he's thinking some deep as shit thoughts.

"Don't blow a fuse, bro," you joke.

"Fuck off. Anyways, I think we can probably grab a plane because my Bro actually has a decent-sized one. It's private and fast. We could take that," Dirk offers.

"Where is your Bro anyways?" you ask.

"I don't really know or care."

"Okay...so it's settled," you say, nodding your head. "Where's the plane stashed anyways?"

"It's in a private little airport for all those rich people who can afford shit like that. Not too far from here. Bigass black building, kind of cylindrical. It's got a little tarmac in the back."

"Sweet." You give him a thumbs up.

"At least we won't have to worry about any zombies," John says, sighing in relief.

Just as you're about to relax a little bit, you hear some kind of commotion coming from outside. It sounds like people are going fucking insane, there's screaming and hysterical laughter and sirens. Dirk walks over to the window to check what's going on, but it doesn't look like he can tell what's causing the shitstorm raging outside.

"We should go down there and see what's up," Dirk says, moving to throw some essentials together into a bag. It takes you a minute to realize that he's making it up for Roxy. Must already have a bag for himself.

"Yeah, it sounds like a party, and a party without Striders is completely fucking unacceptable," you reply. John and Jake get up and get ready to go, but Roxy just lays there.

Dirk notices her lack of movement and walks over to her. Suddenly, he reaches out and yanks her up by her shoulders (not something you'd recommend doing to someone who's drunk). "Roxy." Holy shit he sounds serious. "Roxy Lalonde. We need you. That zombie apocalypse? It might be at our doorstep right the fuck now. So we need you to snap out of it and focus. I need to know that you can fend for yourself and make logical decisions, so I don't have to worry about your ass when we get out there. Do you understand?"

Roxy looks like she's never had a drink of alcohol in her life after that little speech. She stands up straight and nods. "Y-Yeah, Dirk. I get it, I'm ready." He lets go of her and hands her her bag, which she slings over her shoulder. 

Dirk then turns towards the rest of you. "Are you guys ready?" You all nod in response, so he turns back around and opens the front door to the apartment. The hallway is dead quiet while the five of you make your way to the elevator. It comes quickly and takes you down on an empty car, making you feel like you're in some horror movie and it's about to stop any fucking second.

The ground floor is a bumbling mass of people running around with bags and frantic expressions, but it's still utterly silent. It rubs you the wrong way. 

When you step outside, it's like an explosion.

The sudden wave of noise that crashes on your ears feels like an orchestra just went from playing pianissimo for half the song to a sudden fortissimo in less than a second. You think you might've had a mini heart attack. After all that pent up silence, the screams of people, the sounds of sirens ringing in the air, police calling out orders, and the pattering of a million feet smacking on concrete are deafening.

Dirk starts to slip through the crowd, Jake and Roxy close behind him. You grab John's arm and follow them, making sure you can see Jake's bright green backpack, the tips of Dirk's anime shades, or Roxy's pink highlights at all times. They stop, and by the time you fully catch up with them, they're talking to an officer. 

"Stay indoors, kids. Those infected bastards are crawling their way into the city's northern side. They'll be here any minute. Go inside, lock your doors, board your windows, and don't make any noises," the officer orders, before driving away to relay the message to everyone else using the speaker system in his car.

John looks up at you with wide eyes. "Shit, Dave, they caught up! What are we gonna do now?"

"We stick to the plan," Dirk answers for you. "We just have to go now if we want to make it before those assholes catch up with us."

Before you can agree to his plan, some random woman's shriek breaks your eardrums. You think you imagine the sickly roar of anger that follows it, but then you realize that no. No, you didn't.

A fraction of a second passes and you lose sight of everyone. Everything around you is blurs of color and walls of sound that aren't any form of sick like the beats you throw down. There isn't any direction in this madhouse, you're blind and deaf from sensory overload.

While lost in your frantic trance, an arm breaks free from the throng and grabs you. You're pulled into the mass, and before you know it, emerge on the outskirts of the crowd. You blink rapidly and find yourself looking at Dirk, Roxy, and Jake.

"Are you okay?" Dirk asks, keeping you steady with that hand still on your forearm.   
You nod and he lets go of you.

"What in the devilfucking Dickens was that all about?" Jake exclaims, staring back the way you'd come.

"The zombies got into the city and must've hit the edges of the crowd. That's why everyone flipped their shit. We need to get on that plane and leave. Now," Dirk answers.

"Wait just a motherfucking second." Your eyes widen in realization of what a shit friend you are. "Where's Egbert?"

Jake's and Roxy's eyes fly open wide in a similar reaction to yours, and while Dirk's eyes aren't visible, his jaw clenches in anger, most likely directed at himself. Fuck. You fucked up. He's fucking terrified of crowds and he's probably lost in there somewhere and oh God what if some zombie already got to him! FUCK.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is John Egbert and you're definitely losing your marbles. What marbles? They're so far gone, you never even had them.

One second, you're standing right next to Dave, the next, you're left somewhere in this river of people. You call out for him, for Dirk and Jake and Roxy, but you know it's pointless. If you can't even hear the words leave your mouth, how are they supposed to?

Screams reverberate in your ears, the rhythm of pounding feet speeds up your heart rate, and sight becomes a canvas covered in splashes and dashes of color made by shaky hands. The people seem to get closer and closer, constricting around you. They're choking you, you can't breath, but you're hyperventilating anyways. You're spinning in wild, crazed circles, trying to figure out what to do.

After scrambling in a panic for a while, you decide to just flow with the crowd. Who knows, maybe they're going in the same direction as Dave and the others did. You don't have any better ideas. At this point, you're down for anything besides that whirlwind of terror. 

Resolved to stick to your new plan, you take a deep breath and start running. The people quickly sweep you up and into their masses, pushing and pulling at you every which way. You don't think you're even running in a straight line, you feel like you're being tossed around by the waves.

Suddenly, you see a slim opening in the crowd, a little flash of an empty alleyway, and you take it. You haul ass through the crowd and finally break free from it. You don't think you've ever felt so relieved in your entire life. You're taking in big gulps of fresher air, relishing the feeling of having your own personal space.

Then you remember that maybe your space is a bit too personal. "I need to find Dave, Dirk, Jake, and Roxy..." you mumble to yourself. You remember the description Dirk gave of the private airport where the plane is. Maybe the others will just meet you there? 

Wait! You have a phone, holy shit, how could you forget that? You whip out your phone, only to be disappointed. No bars. Zombies must've cut through all the wires. Either that, or the people in charge shut them down and hightailed it out of there. Damn.

You pocket your phone and content yourself with the fact that your friends are smart. In any situation where you can't directly contact each other, they should be able to figure out what to do. Just head for where you planned to meet originally and everything will work out okay.

You do just that, trying to hug the shadows of the buildings and remain unseen. You move quickly, but quietly, and don't see any zombies or too many people. Just when you see the top of a big black building, with a round-edged roof, and think you're in the clear, you hear something.

A growl.

You freeze in your tracks, your heart thumps along thunderously, and shivers run up your spine. You cautiously turn around and look down the street where the noise came from, praying for a stray dog to be the source.

It's not.

What you see stabs ice into your pounding heart, stopping it cold. Your eyes widen in fear and disbelief. No, no it can't be, it's impossible!

She stands there and glares at you, snarling angrily. Her eyes are shrouded with filmy white hate and insanity, her hair, clothes, and skin ratty and falling into a disease-ridden state. Before you can even think a coherent thought about this, she runs down the street right towards you, screaming bloody murder.

Your sister Jade is alive, and she's going to kill you.


	13. How Is Parting a "Sweet Sorrow"?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...you're all gonna hate me! :D But hey, happy 4/13 everyone! (May we pray to survive another year).

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you have jello legs. No, seriously, just try walking using your legs. You'll wobble around more than a stumbling drunkard. 

After what felt like years of agonizing torture, you finally climbed your way up to the 14th floor. Nepeta popped the card key in the slot of room 1413 with a sound that can only be described as an excited meow. Immediately, the five of you ran in and flopped down on the closest beds and sofas you could find. Thank God the room was a suite and had plenty of comfy places to splay yourselves on.

"I'm not moving for a million years. I'll still be here when the apocalypse is long over, I don't give a flying fuck if zombies barge into this room and try to murder me. My sense of complete and utter 'done' will be enough to drive them away," you groan, burying your face in a pillow.

"And yet, you still have the energy to give us another of your long-winded rants," Kanaya comments, and by the tone of her voice, she's smirking. You have just enough energy to lift your arm and flip her the finger before turning into a blob of lazy.

"I suggest that we take turns sleeping. We don't know what could be in this city or in the building itself. Better to be safe than sorry," Equius says, somehow gathering the inhumane strength to stand up.

Kanaya laughs. "I'm sure Karkat will not be able to take first watch." This time, you don't have energy enough to do much more than growl half-heartedly.

"Well count me out. I'm blind as a bat, in case you didn't remember," Terezi calls out.

"Terezi, you are very capable of taking watch. Your blindness is no hindrance to you, we all know that," Kanaya says, rolling her eyes. "However, that does not mean you have to. Rest, if you wish."

"I will take first watch. I have no problem doing so," Equius interjects.

"Are you sure? I don't mind, if you want to rest some, Equius," Kanaya replies, giving him a concerned look.

"No, no, it's quite alright." Equius walks over to the chair by the window, sits, and peers out onto the city streets below.

"Well, goodnight evfuryone," Nepeta, of course, curls up like a cat in the middle of the bed she's laying on.

"Nepeta, it's still like, three o'clock in the afternoon," Terezi says, but she too looks like she's about to pass out.

"Would you all just shut your fucking traps and sleep already?" you grumble out, making yourself comfortable.

Terezi gasps. "He speaks!"

"Fuck you," you mumble.

"Shh, not now, Karkles. Only sleeping," she shoots back with her devilish grin.

"That's enough you two, just get some rest while you still have time," Kanaya admonishes, settling back down on her own bed.

You take one last look around you before slipping off into unconsciousness. Your eyes land on Nepeta, curled up like the cat she is, smiling softly in her sleepy state and nuzzling the sheets. You blame your drowsiness for making you think what comes next. It's not you, you're too fucking tired to be you. Your body and mind have been possessed by this alien creature that thinks it's okay to plant shitty thoughts in your head. But...she actually looks kind of cute.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is John Egbert and you think you deserve to have a minute to flip your shit in peace. Sadly, Jade isn't going to give you that, is she?

You don't know what to do. Your mind is reeling, a tidal wave of thoughts and feelings smashing around inside. She's alive. She's alive. But...but she's infected now. She's infected and...oh shit she's trying to kill you, dammit, focus John! 

You shuffle in place for a moment before absconding down the alleyway to your left. You keep throwing glances over your shoulder, but you never see Jade. The only reason you know that she's following you is because her growls and shrieks chase you down the alley. They make you feel like she's right behind you, about to rip your throat out or something. So naturally, you run even faster. (They're still creeping up on you, you're never going to get away).

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck dammit Jade! Why did you have to get bit!? Why did you have to show up now of all times!?" you yell frustratedly, taking turns randomly as you go. You try to look for that big black building and head somewhat in its direction, but honestly? You have no idea where the hell you're going or what you're even doing.

In some corner of your mind, you notice that there aren't any people---infected or otherwise---anywhere near this area. Weird, in your opinion. You've probably run all over this section of the city by now, but it's just you and Jade. How did she just happen to be the one zombie left here? The one that happened to find you? At a place and a moment when no one else is around?

It doesn't seem like a coincidence to you.

Suddenly, a hand grabs at your backpack. Shit! You pull away as hard as you can and pay more attention to what you're actually trying to do right now. Gotta stay alive, John, can't let your sister kill you, you idiot. 

Left, right, straight, slight curve, right, right, left, right, left, left, left, straight, loop around. So many turns, if you tried to keep track, you'd lose your mind. Well, lose it again.

Right turn, run straight, plan to make another left...dead end.

Well that's just great.

You reach the end, scan the area for any exits, and don't find any. Your eyes dart around, but you can't think clearly. This whole situation is still blowing you away. Combine that with the deadly chase you're in, how tired you are, and your fear of enclosed spaces (God, did the walls of this alley look so close together earlier?) and you have one very frazzled John Egbert. A frazzled John Egbert that has no hope of defending himself against his zombie sister that wants to murder his ass.

Another growl. Your head shoots up to see her at the entrance of the alleyway. Every blink brings her closer, but at this point you aren't sure if she's actually getting closer, or if the walls closing in around you are just pushing her towards you. 

You back up until you hit the brick behind you and you're completely and utterly trapped. 

Fuck.

You shakily reach behind you and grab your hammer out of your bag. You then make the mistake of looking at it. A flashback overtakes you. In the worst possible moment, you see this exact hammer bashing your father's skull open. You killed your Dad. With this hammer. His blood is on your hands and you didn't even know it was him at first. You didn't know what you'd done until it was too late. What if a cure to this 'cure' is found? If you didn't kill him, you might have gotten him back someday. He wasn't just a zombie, he wasn't just some random person you didn't know, he was your DAD. Your own flesh and blood, the man who raised you, the man who was proud of you, no matter what. And how did you repay him? You killed him without even blinking an eye. You will never, EVER forgive yourself for that.

But this can be different.

You snap out of your flashback and see Jade creeping closer and closer, snarling and baring her teeth at you. 

Jade is your sister. She's just as important to you as your Dad was. Just a little while ago, you thought she was dead. Now she's alive. She's alive. She's alive. She's alive. Jade is probably the only family you have left in this world. You...you can't kill her.

A few seconds later, your hammer falls to the ground with a loud clank. 

You didn't know your Dad was the zombie you killed, but you know this is Jade. You don't have to kill your sister. You don't have to be rash. You can save her. If you keep her alive, if you keep her safe for a while, maybe, just maybe, you'll find a cure. Maybe you can find Doc Scratch and get him to cough up his data. You couldn't save your Dad, but you can save Jade.

Jade gets closer and closer, but you have nowhere to go. You just watch her make her way to you. Watch her hazy eyes that reflect insanity, watch her skin slap and sag off at odd places, watch her strange pus-blood ooze from random places, watch the monster your sister has become stalk inch by inch to where you are.

"Jade...Jade, can you hear me? Is there any part of you that's still left? Any bit at all? Do you...do you recognize me? It's John, your brother John. I-I'm so sorry this happened to you, Jade. But, but don't worry! I'm going to help you. I won't let you die too. I won't lose you too," you stammer out, speaking quietly to keep the emotions raging inside you from breaking out. Sad that Jade is suffering from this, relieved that she's still alive, angry that Dr. Scratch did this to her, ashamed at what you did to your Dad, determined to not do the same to Jade.

Jade stops a few feet away from you. She glares, she growls, she hooks her fingers into claws, she tenses.

You cry. "Jade..." you whisper.

She freezes. Her eyes widen. She looks down, she shakes, she looks back up. Jade, the real Jade, looks back at you with bewilderment, fear, and pain in her green, green eyes.

You can't take your eyes off of the sword stabbing her through the chest.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Nepeta Leijon and you just got woken up from your catnap.

Normally, this would cause you to hiss and claw at whoever woke you up, but it's not a who that woke you. It's a what. A sound.

You get up and tilt your head. It sounds like...you're not even sure what. You do know that it's not from in here, though. It's coming from outside. You hop off the bed and walk over to the window. Equius is sleeping in the chair by it, hehe, he's such a bad boy, not keeping watch. You take a peek out the window down to the street below and suddenly all the giggles in you drop dead.

Zombies. Everywhere. They're all over the streets, dotted in groups and clusters. That sound you heard? Groaning. Glass shattering. Wood breaking.

They're coming into the building.

"WAKE UP!" you screech.

Equius is up in an instant, grabbing your shoulders. "Nepeta, what is the matter? Are you alright?"

Karkat groans and scrunches his features up. "Why the fuck am I being woken up? What did I say before. I am NOT moving."

"What's going on? What happened?" Kanaya asks, drowsily rubbing her eyes.

Terezi mumbles and shifts, but doesn't fully wake up.

"Nepeta?" Equius prods, looking down at you. You fearfully point to the window. The color drains from his face and he looks outside to confirm what he already knows. "We must go. Now," he says.

Equius walks over to Terezi and shakes her. "Pyrope, wake up or so help me I will strangle you."

Well, that got her up.

"What the fuck is it now, Zahhak? I'm still too tired to deal with this shit." Karkat turns over and raises an eyebrow in question.

"Zombies are in the city. They are entering this building as we speak. We must hurry, if we want to make it out in time," he answers, making sure everyone has their stuff gathered.

"Goddammit not again." Karkat sighs and facepalm x2 combos.

"Oh goodness, we'd better be quick, then. How are we supposed to get out if they have already taken the entrance?" Kanaya says, getting up immediately and grabbing her bag.

"There is a back door in the kitchen on the first floor. That should take us out onto the outskirts of the city. From there, we can lay low and keep ourselves hidden until things quiet down or until we have a chance to leave the city," Equius replies.

"How could you possibly know that?" Terezi crosses her arms in disbelief.

"I read the hotel books while I was on watch duty. One had a fire escape route, with an entire layout of the building in it."

"So how do we get there?" you ask, bouncing up next to him and clinging to his arm.

"We will most likely have to take the emergency staircase to avoid running into any of them," Equius responds.

"Let's go then. No use hanging out in this shithole waiting for the motherfuckers to get up here." Karkat gets up and walks over to the door after slinging his bag back over his shoulder. You all pull out your weapons and wait for him to open the door. "Who's ready for this shitstorm? Yeah, sure as hell not me." With that, he slams the door open and runs down the hall. The rest of you follow close behind, eyes and ears trained on every door and hallway.

Karkat stops to kick the door open, and it slams against the wall with a loud smack. The sound echoes all the way down the fourteen flights of stairs that you'll have to climb down.

"Fuck, more stairs," Karkat groans out, walking forward and climbing down them as fast as he can without falling over himself.

You do the smart thing and jump on top of the railing. You're quickly sliding down the pole, slipping past the floors like it's nothing. Equius runs after you, keeping pace with you so you two don't get separated. You can hear Karkat yelling obscenities at you and the stairs alike while Terezi laughs and Kanaya tries to get him to quiet down. 

For a second, you forget you're in a dangerous situation and just have fun. Enjoy the moment a little. But that second is short-lived. On the platform for the tenth floor which you just passed, the door leading to the hallway bursts open. In pours a river of zombies. You jump off the railing and Equius stands in front of you. 

"Karkat!" you call, looking for him and the girls.

"Nepeta! Equius! Get the fuck out of here! Go, now! We'll meet you there, just go!" Karkat screams back down, slicing the head off a zombie.

"But, Karkat..." you say.

"Go!" Terezi shouts, pulling her sword from her cane and stabbing another zombie through the chest.

"Come along, Nepeta. They will be fine, do not worry," Equius soothes, placing a hand on your shoulder.

You turn to look at the zombies following the two of you and nod. "Let's go." You and Equius run down the many flights of stairs, with zombies trailing after you like diseased water flowing down a concrete waterfall.

Finally, you hit the bottom floor, and Equius slams the door open. The two of you run into the back halls of the lobby until Equius finds the kitchen. He opens the door and ushers you inside. You go in and wait for him to come after you. When he does, he leads you over to the back door, watching and listening just as much as you are. 

The back door busts open, but neither of you opened it. Zombies begin to climb their way in and you have no idea what you're going to do next. Equius looks around worriedly before spinning you and taking you back the way you'd came.

Then the situation takes an even bigger dive. The door leading to the lobby's back areas opens too, and zombies begin to come from that direction. Now you and Equius are completely surrounded.

His eyes frantically dart all over the room and he's starting to sweat nervously. Suddenly, his eyes land on something he apparently thinks is useful and pushes you towards it. It's...a big barrel of potatoes? You give him a look, and he pushes the barrel aside. Beneath it is a door that he pulls open with the big metal ring that's attached to it. A ladder leads down a short ways, and you go down it without questioning him. He follows you soon after and you hear the click of a latch as he looks the door from the inside.

A light flashes in your eyes and you yelp in surprise and minor pain. 

"Oh my goodness, Nepeta, are you alright? I am so sorry about that," Equius stammers, hiding the light away.

"No, no, no it's okay. I was just a little surprised is all," you say, smiling at him. You notice that it's his phone that is casting the light, so you pull your's out too. "So, where are we?"

"It is a food pantry," Equius replies, checking the room for any dangers. When he finds none, he comes back over to you. "We should be safe here, for now."

You nod and set your bag down. Looking around, you turn your phone back off and put it away so your eyes can just adjust to the darkness. "Hey look, there's a window." You run over to it. It's high up, but low enough that Equius could reach if he wanted to. Small, but not too small. Big enough to let in some of the sunlight that's fading away. Big enough that you can see the mostly empty streets behind the hotel. It's hanging wide open.

"Hmm, interesting," Equius remarks and keeps looking around.

It feels like you're in there for a while, before the banging starts. 

At first, it's just a soft knock at the door. So quiet, you're pretty sure you imagine it. But it keeps coming back until you're sure that you're not just hearing things. "Equius, do you hear that?" you whisper, tilting your head to listen.

"Yes. I believe they have found us out. I am going to attempt to block the entrance. Go and stay by the window, alright?" he orders, pushing barrels over to the entrance and stacking them up. You nod and move to sit beneath the window, watching Equius work. He moves barrels and sacks of food over and up and around, making an edible barrier around the room's entrance.

"There. Now if they break through, they will have that to deal with," Equius comments and sits down next to you.

Then you wait.

The pounds on the door get progressively louder, more forceful, and more frequent. You start to get a little scared and naturally curl up around yourself. Equius gives you a gentle hug and stays by your side.

It seems to be getting a bit better again, until the door breaks. 

You hear the wood splinter, hear it shatter into pieces and creak from the weight that's suddenly placed on it. The zombies come tumbling down the ladder and immediately start tearing through the barrier. Equius pulls you up on your feet and stands in front of you, an arrow knocked and trained at the entrance. 

A quick tap on the window behind you makes Equius spin in sudden surprise and he almost shoots Karkat in the foot. 

"Jesus fucking Christ, Zahhak, get your shit in order. I'm not the one you should be shooting."

"Karkitty!" you exclaim, smiling up at him.

"In the flesh," Karkat says sarcastically.

"How did the three of you escape?" Equius questions, lowering his bow.

"That's a bit of a long story and there isn't enough time to tell it," Karkat says in response. "So why are you two fuckwads down there anyways?"

You're about to answer when a barrel comes crashing down and spills out a bunch of rotten cabbages. A disease-ridden, saggy-skinned hand is poking through a hole in the wall Equius constructed. It's only a matter of time before they all get in.

"Oh, so that's why. Fuck," Karkat says, eyes wide. You all watch helplessly as the zombies smash through the barrier and slowly crawl into the cellar.

"Karkat. There is not any time to lose," Equius says in a hurried voice. Karkat looks at him with what you like to call the 'what the hequius?' expression. 

"Karkat. Take Nepeta. Keep her safe. You and the others need to get out of he-" He's cut off by the snarling of zombies as they come towards you, they're pushing things over and smashing them in their rage and desperation.

"Equius?" you say timidly, staring up at your big brother. The one who's always protected you, looked after you, loved you. The one who took you in and comforted you when your parents died. The one who promised he'd never, ever leave your side.

Equius leans down and places his big, rough hands on your little shoulders. You love those hands. You know that they're rough because he's always working so hard, tinkering, sparring, stringing bows, and snapping arrows. You know they're warm and can envelop your hands easily, making you feel safe and comforted. You love your big brother more than anything. 

Tears well up in your eyes as you meet his. His shades are propped up on the top of his head. His dark blue eyes look sadly into your olive green ones. "Nepeta. I love you so much. You are the only family I have left in this world. I promised mother and father before they died that I would always protect you and keep you safe, no matter what. I have to honor that promise now, I have to save my little kitten," Equius's voice breaks several times. You know you're crying and shaking when he wraps you in a big hug. "Shh, do not cry. You are a Leijon, a Zahhak. You are strong and brave, I know you will make it. Karkat and the others will keep you safe, stay with them."

He lifts you up. He then turns to Karkat and says quietly, "Guard her with your life, Vantas." Karkat nods wordlessly, and holds out his hand.

Equius lifts you enough that you can grab Karkat's outstretched hand. Together, they pull and push you through the little window that's too small for Equius to fit through, but it's just big enough for you.

When Karkat pulls you out fully, you turn around and put your hand back through the window. Equius grabs it and holds it tenderly. You feel something wet and realize that he's crying. The tears are mutual here. 

"Go, now, Nepeta. Hurry, while you still have time," he whispers, slowly releasing his hold on you.

You're about to stand up when you see something coming up behind him. "Equius, look out!" you scream, but it's too late. The zombie grabs his arms and clamps its jaws down on his shoulder. He tenses, reaches up, and punches it in the face so hard that its skull smashes inward. 

Equius...he's bleeding. He's in pain. More zombies are right behind the one he just killed. He's going to turn or die.

"Equius!" you scream through your tears, trying to claw your way back down into the cellar. Back to your brother, he needs you, he's right there.

"Karkat!" Equius yells before stabbing a zombie in the throat with one of his arrows.

Karkat understands and grabs your arm. He pulls at you. Pulls until you're standing up. Pulls until you can't see Equius anymore. Pulls until you can only hear the chaos down there. You pull back, you kick, you punch, you claw, you scream. You sob. 

You break.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is John Egbert and this time, you know your sister is dead.

You know because you just watched her get stabbed through the heart.

Jade didn't even have time to react. After looking back up at you with the eyes you know and love, she closes them and her body becomes dead weight. She slips off the blade with a sickening sound and falls to the ground in a heap.

Your eyes are still on the sword.

The sword that doesn't have a body between it and the one who wields it anymore.

The sword that Dave drops to the ground.

When it falls, so do you. You're on your hands and knees, shaking like a leaf, crawling to Jade's body. You grab her left hand, cradle it to your chest, and watch the hole in her chest trickle out a mixture of real blood and the pus-like substance that belongs to the infected.

Your eyes are still blown wide in shock, you don't even know if you're crying. You just feel...numb. You don't feel anything. You...you aren't even processing any of this, are you?

"John I...I'm so sorry," a choked up voice manages to squeeze out.

Your head shoots up to look at the person who voiced it. You look up and see Dave's long, lanky body trembling. You look up and see the bit of blood/pus slurry that splattered on his shirt, on his hands, on his face. You look up to see where those stupid shades hide eyes more red than anything you've ever seen.

Then YOU see red and senses fly back to you with a smack that sends you into a fury. You scream in rage and pain and let go of Jade's hand. You leap at Dave and tackle him to the ground.

You don't know what you're doing. No. You know. You're punching him, scratching his shoulders and arms, screaming nonsense and crying your eyes out. You're absolutely furious and it honestly terrifies you.

But...Dave. He's your best friend. He's always been your best friend. You love him, care for him. You'd trust him with anything. But he just killed your sister. The sister you thought was dead. The only family you had left. The sister who was also Dave's good friend. The sister who you could've saved. The sister you were going to save. Your last hope.

He's just sitting there, taking it. He's not fighting back, not pushing you away, not yelling back at you. Nothing. A small, somewhat sane part of your brain tells you that he feels like he deserves it. That part feels horrible, hates this, but the rest of you is pure anger and it won't stop screaming.

Eventually, your punches become lighter, your screams dissolving further and further into hysterical sobs. You claw Dave's shoulders one last time, but end up just digging your fingers into his shirt and crying over him. He still just sits there with his broken shades (oh God, you gave him those for his 13th birthday, you totally destroyed them) sitting awkwardly on his face. You can see his eyes, they're filled with tears, but you don't think it's because of any physical pain. 

Dave's expression breaks your heart and your resolve. You transform into this ugly monster that is streaming tears and snot. Under other circumstances, it would be really fucking embarrassing. 

Dave wordlessly wraps his arms around your shoulders and pulls you down further until you're laying fully on top of him. His shirt is bunched up in your fists, your face pressed into his chest, his chin gently resting on your head. 

You fall apart all over your best friend, and even after everything, you can't help but feel comforted by Dave's presence. His steady breathing keeps you centered and as sane as you can be, given the situation.

You should be absconding the fuck out of there. You should be pissed. You should be murdering this asshole.

You've never hated yourself more.

"I'm sorry. John I-I'm so fucking sorry," Dave croaks out, moving his hand to cradle the back of your head like you're some precious thing that didn't just beat him up.

"W-why. W-Why did you d-do that?" you whisper, not forgiving him, just not emotionally strong enough to resist.

"I had to. She-she was going to kill you, John. I couldn't let her do that. It's my fault we got separated, I couldn't let you die because of me," he answers softly, his voice sounding pleading.

"I was going to save her, Dave. I didn't kill her, I couldn't kill her. I hadn't known it was my Dad at the time, but I knew it was Jade, and I couldn't do it. I was going to fix her, I was going to stop fucking up for once," you state, tensing your shoulders as another sob racks through your body.

"You can't, John. You can't save her. We can't save any fucking one of these people. They're all goners, they're all dead the moment they're bit. It wasn't really Jade, it was a monster walking in her skin."

"No." You shake your head, getting angry again. "No they're not. No she's not. You didn't see her, Dave. R-right before she f-fell...she was herself. Sh-she was there, the real her. If we find a cure...i-if we find Dr. Scratch...I wanted to bring her back. I wanted to save the last family I had left. I wanted to make up for what I did to my Dad in any way I possibly could. But now it's too late. And it's all your fucking fault."


	14. Heroes Always Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4/13 everyone! I'm updating every Homestuck fanfic in my arsenal in honor of its end. Thank you all for staying with me through this journey, reading what I put out and motivating me to keep doing what I want to do, even if I suck at keeping any kind of updating schedule. All your views, votes, and comments are what inspire me, I love seeing that I can contribute to this beautiful fandom that has done so much for me in my life. Oh, and don't worry, I promise this isn't the end of my Homestuck fanfiction writing career. I'll see all of these fics through to the end, and though Homestuck may be drawing to a close, my love for it and its fandom will never die. I hope you all have a wonderful day filled with memories of good times in the past and new ones of all of us coming together for our final goodbye. Thank Andrew Hussie, thank every person who's ever contributed to Homestuck, whether it became canon or not. Thank the fan artists, the fanfic writers, the cosplayers, rpers, and ask bloggers. Thank all the people who make this fandom one of the greatest ones out there, because there are just so many of them. And of course, don't forget to thank the characters we've known and loved along the way. 
> 
> So, without further ado, read on my fellow Homestucks!

Your name is Gamzee Makara and you're pretty motherfucking stoked right about now.

Your best bro is heading over and you haven't seen him in a whole mess of years, he's bringing some other sweet as shit friends, and you have Tavbro and Vrissis with you already. Life is looking good, it being the apocalypse and all.

"Are we done packing?" Tavros asks, looking through the piles of shit you discarded earlier. "I don't want us to leave anything that's, uh, important."

"We're fiiiiiiiine, Nitram! Why don't you quit your worrying for once? Relax while you still have the chance," Vriska butts in, rolling her eyes.

You lean back against the couch and sigh. "Vrissis is totally right, bro. Relax your motherfucking self right on over here. It may be the last time for a while y'know."

Just as you finish saying this, the cacophonous sound of about thirty car alarms going off outside of the house assaults your ears.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!!!!!!!" Serket shouts, hands slammed down on the side of her head like she'll tear her hear canals off with her nails.

"I-I don't know!" Tavbro responds, hunched down in his two wheeler.

"It's all good, my invertebrothers. Just some auto sirens flipping their wicked shit all over this tragedy," you soothe.

"Yes, obviously Makara. But why? What the everloving  fuck caused that?" Vriska says, rolling her eyes.

"M-maybe there was umm, an earthquake? Or something like that?" Tavros offers.

"Maybe so, Tavbro, maybe so," you reply, grinning and ruffling his Mohawk.

"Well whatever it was, we'd better hope it doesn't happen again," Vriska mutters. She eyes the packs leaning against the coffee table, looking more rattled than normal.

The three of you sit there for a while, catching up or just chilling until a loud crash a couple houses down causes you to become suddenly alert. Vriska stands and walks over to the window facing the rest of the neighborhood, peering through the blinds. Nothing else happens for a few minutes, then an ear-splitting scream shoots down the street. 

It's dead quite after that sound fades away. 

Vriska looks like she's going to come back to you and Tavros, when she stiffens like a week old pie in the pan. "Guuuuuuuuys? We have a problem! A really big problem!"

"What?" Tavros asks nervously. 

"Zombie motherfuckers are on their way here! We have to go, NOW!" She sprints over to the bags and grabs them, slinging one on her back and throwing the other to you. You let out an exasperated honk-like sound as it smacks you in the face and you fall over.

"Gamzee Makara, get your ass up right now or so help me gog, I will leave you here to get eaten!" Vriska growls, glaring as she moves to push Tavros through the back door of his house.

"Wait wait wait!" he cries, trying to hold on to the wall. "Vriska, please, stop!"

"What is it now, Nitram!? If we stay any longer we're going to DIE!" she screams, impatiently waiting for him to stop protesting.

"We're supposed to wait here for help, we can't just leave without leaving a note or uh...something! What if Karkat comes and thinks we were killed?" he explains.

"Shit, I completely forgot about that," Vriska says. She runs into the kitchen and scribbles a note right on the counter. A knife's handle catches her eye as she's leaving, and after a split second debate, she takes it.

"Okay, let's go. Gamzee, push Tavros, I'll cover our backs." Her grip tightens on the knife. For a second, you want to take it from her, but you shake the urge away and take care of your bro instead.

"I can't believe you just wrote all over my kitchen counter," Tavros says, glaring at her over your shoulder.

"Aww, don't be mad Tavbro. She's just trying to help Karbro find us when he gets here," you say reassuringly, pushing him along.

"Speed it up boys, unless you wanna be zombie chow," Vriska urges.

"Chill the fuck out, Vrissis. Everything's gonna be a-oka—" You're cut off by Tavros's gasp. Your head shoots up and you see the absolute hoards that are coming straight towards you.

"Fuck," you hear Vriska whisper behind you.

"Wh-what do we do now?" Tavros asks, involuntarily scooting all the way back in his seat.

You look for some kind of weak spot or exit and then, "There!" you shout, pointing at a hole in the fence to your left on the side the zombies haven't gotten to yet. You push Tavros quickly in that direction and Vriska runs behind you.

"Fucking hell, your two wheel device is too motherfucking big!" You snarl in frustration while almost slamming Tavros's legs into the fence.

"Grab him! Carry him through the hole and I'll throw it over to the other side! Hurry!" Vriska orders, brandishing her knife and watching the sea of death close in.

"Upsie-daisy, Tavbro." He wraps his arms around your neck when you pick him up bridal style, clinging tightly as you squish through the opening. "I gotcha, I gotcha," you mutter, almost to yourself more than your boyfriend.

You safely make it to the other side, thankfully zombie-free, and yell, "Throw it, Serket! It's clear as the freshest fucking slime over here!"

A grunt is followed by the crash of the chair, which you hurriedly sit upright and plop Tavros in.

"C'mon, Vriska!" said boy shouts, tightly gripping the arms of his two wheel device as he does.

She curses as she wriggles through the hole, popping free on your side of the fence. You all nod and run (sit) again, throwing open the gate to find all the zombies filtering into Tavros's backyard. Some of them see you escaping and they start to turn and come after you.

"Let's go! Move it, move it!" Vriska is running ahead now, shouting directions to you and making sure no other zombies are hiding this way.

You make it several blocks out of Tavros's neighborhood before you run into another pack, this time in front of a school. "Why is it always schools with this horror shit?" you groan.

"Get in that golf cart, hurry!" Vriska runs and sits in the backseat, holding her knife tightly in case it needs to be used. You lift Tavros up and put him next to the driver's spot, then throw his two wheel device in the middle seat. You thank the mirthful messiahs that there's a full tank and keys on the floor while you start it up and pull out of the school parking lot.

You head towards the southern end of the highway, knowing that the stupid motherfuckers originated up north, only to find another group of them almost completely blocking the rode. "MotherFUCK!"

You drive to the thinner section, hoping against hope that you'll be able to punch through. Some nails catch your skin and clothes, causing the three of you to flip your shit, but you make it, somehow. That is until some bastard grabs Vriska's arm and pulls her off the cart at the last second.

"VRISKA!" Tavros screams. You hit the breaks, turning so you can start driving back to get her. 

"JUST GO!" she screams back, cutting off the arm of the zombie that grabbed her.

"What!? NO!" Tavros shouts, trying to get a better look at her, knowing he can't do anything to help.

"Tavros, I said go! I'll hold them off, you need to get out of here!" She's cutting off heads and slicing guts, but there's no way she'll be able to beat them, there's way too many of the motherfuckers. She knows that. 

Vriska looks up to meet your eyes. You can see the anger, frustration, determination, and hell, even fear in her gaze, and you know there's nothing you two can do to make her come or let you stay. She gives a small, imperceptible nod, then turns around and stabs another zombie in the chest.

With a heavy breath, you hit the gas as hard as you can, beat it like a dead horse, and get the hell out of there.

"Gamzee, wh-what are you doing!? We can't just leave her! She'll die! Go back, you have to go back!" Tavros is pulling on your arms, begging and pleading, but your grip is tight as fuck and you're gonna protect your boyfriend. 

Whether he wants you to or not. 

~*~*~*

Your name is Vriska Serket and you are in deep shit. Not even your badassery can get you out of these massive beast leavings.

At least Tavros and Gamzee are safe.

Your mouth twists in a wry grin at that. Hey, maybe you won't be remembered as such a 8ig spider 8itch after all.

You cut, hack, stab, and slice the seemingly miles of zombies that lie before you, never making a fucking dent in it all. You're really really in trouble, you know it, you've come to terms with it, you just think it's super fucking lame that you're going out like this. Who thought you'd be one of the first in your friend group to get killed in an apocalypse? Definitely not you.

One zombie on your right rakes its nails down your arm while you're stabbing the one coming from your left. You cry out in pain, then scream in frustration. "Come ON you zombozos! Can't a girl have some uninjured fun before she gets killed?"

You knock out another twenty, thirty, fifty, but it's not enough. You wish you had an army of your own, but sadly, this isn't some game. You're seriously going to die, no question about it.

The next time you stab a zombie's chest, the blade gets trapped between its ribs. You can't wrench it out so the zombie pulls away from you screaming bloody murder.

"Shit," you murmur. You shuffle backwards slowly, eyes darting around to each and every ragged, pussy face surrounding you.

Crunch.

A sickening feeling curls up in your belly when you look down to see that you stepped on the hand of one of the infected bastards you killed. Everyone is frozen, waiting to see who will make the next move. 

Your eyes lock with the zombie in front of you. He looks middle aged, maybe mid-forties or so. Probably had a good job, a beautiful wife, kids even. All these poor people...well, they used to be people. People with lives, hopes and dreams, loved ones and problems and complex existences that now mean jack shit. 

You instantly feel sorry for them. And just as the wave of pity hits you, the man you were staring at roars in fury and the hoard descended on you like a pack of wolves. With a yelp, you turn and get the fuck out of dodge. Regrettably, you aren't some bleach-blond bitch in an 80s horror movie, so these zombies are real. Real and fast. Real and deadly. 

A hand catches your ankle and down you go, screaming all the way. The wind is knocked out of you when you hit the ground, not that it matters, you'll be dead soon anyways. About five more hands join the first and you're dragged, screaming in pure fear, into the monstrous mob.

Every single one that can reach you adds pain to your overdosage of fear. They claw at you, pull out your hair, rip off bits of skin, tear through your clothes, some even bite you.

You're praying for it all to end, begging and pleading for mercy, trying to appeal to the humans that these abominations once were. Needless to say, it doesn't work. 

When one zombitch realizes that she doesn't have to wait for someone to give her permission to eat you, the others follow suit. She tears off your ear with her teeth, dripping pus and foamy saliva in your mouth when you cry out in agony. Then it's a never-ending torrent of pain as you're taken apart bit by bit, chunk by chunk. Tears mix with blood, sweat, spit, and pus all over your body while you wait impatiently for death. Seriously big guy, any time now would be splendid.

You let out a bloodcurdling scream that's even louder than the rest when you feel teeth sink into your cheek and rip it clean off your face. The taste of the atmosphere around you is even more palpable, now that your mouth is open to the air. It's a wonder you haven't passed out from sheer pain alone because relief doesn't seem to be in the near future for you. No one has gotten to a major organ yet and it doesn't look like they will for a while.

With a voice hoarse from screaming and a broken sob, you cry, "W-why won't you j-just kill me!" You don't receive an answer. Honestly, you weren't expecting one. It was only meant to be the pleas of a girl on her death bed, shouted out to the endless void that she was heading for, but hadn't yet reached.

Your right arm is completely gone at this point, your left arm on its way, your legs awkward pieces still clinging to bone. You know you should be dead, if not by pain, then by blood loss, but something is keeping you from even passing out after all this torture. Maybe it's part of the disease, maybe it's just your unending defiance and uncooperativeness, you're not sure and you don't give a single fuck. 

Jagged nails dig into your left eye and it's messily scooped out of the socket with a slew of agonized outcries from you. You start to jerk your head in all directions, looking for something, anything to knock yourself out. It's doing this that lets you see a small girl on your now blind side. She looks to be about eight, maybe less even, standing amidst the horror and chaos. You scream at her to run, to get away, because you just can't imagine little kids becoming these monsters. It's not fair, it's not right. 

She blinks at you for a while, then pulls her hand from behind her back. She...has your knife? How she managed to get that, you'll never know. 

Calmly, quietly, she walks over to you, reaches up on her tiptoes, and stabs your heart. Fresh tears fill your eye, relieved ones this time, as blood bubbles up and out from the wound. You weakly turn your head and smile at the girl, mouthing a 'thank you' before you become completely limp and lifeless in the hands of the thoroughly disappointed infected.


	15. Everything Has Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to our two main groups with this chapter, time to see the effects of all the shit they went through over a year ago. I hope you enjoy it if you're still here!

Your name is Dave Strider and you are quite possibly the worst human being on the planet, and some guy just caused the fucking apocalypse. Yeah, you're that bad.

Why are you such a shitty dude? Well, let's work our way down the list, shall we?

1\. You were too late to save one of your closest friends from death-by-exploding-volcano-island.

2\. You managed to lose your best bro in a crowd of people during the zombie apocalypse. And he's claustrophobic as hell.

3\. You happened to lose said friend while zombies were running rampant through the city.

4\. You took way too fucking long to track him down. Long enough that he got lost and cornered by a zombie.

Let's see...oh, you almost forgot.

5\. You just killed the presumed dead friend from list item number one, who is also the previously zombified sister of your best fucking friend.

Yeah...your life is going all sick-nasty ways to shit.

Neither you nor John has said a word since he kicked your ass. You know he doesn't want your apologies and he seemed to have gotten his point across before, painfully so. Eventually, you both just got up and you began leading the way to the private airport.

You go through several twists and turns before finally seeing the tall black building. You faintly hear an engine whirring and pick up the pace, running to catch the plane so you can get going. John is right behind you, still silent apart from the sound of his feet hitting the concrete.

You pass through the building, coming out on the other side to see Dirk's bro's plane on the main runway, door open with a small staircase leading up to it. Roxy is hanging out a window, apparently looking for you. When she spots you, she waves frantically, and the two of you hurry the rest of the way up the steps and into the plane.

"You made it!" Roxy exclaims, sighing in relief as she sinks into a chair.

"Great, you're alive, can we please go?" Dirk insists, retracting the stairs and closing the door.

"We're fine, just go dude," you say. Dirk heads for the cockpit and moments later you hear the sounds of a plane that's about to take off. Dirk flicks on the seatbelt light, so you four passengers find your seats and buckle up securely.

John's sitting as far back as he possibly can, looking out the window with a blank expression on his face. He looks dead, you kind of sort of want to cry.

"Goodness, Dave, what on earth happened to you?" Jake remarks, finally noticing your beat-up appearance.

"Did you run into zombozos on the way here?" Roxy asks.

"Something like that," you mutter.

You feel the plane leave the ground, gripping the arms of your seat tightly. Once Dirk levels out, you sigh in relief and release your death-grip.

Roxy leans over and whispers, "What's with John? He looks really upset."

"Yeah, what's wrong with our chipper friendleader? He's not normally this anti-social and depressed," Jake comments, glancing back at him worriedly.

You take a deep breath and sigh, knowing you were going to have to explain what went down at some point. "Well, long story short, John hates my guts now because I did something stupid and I might've really fucked up everything."

Fuck, you're tearing up aren't you? You squeeze your eyes shut and pray they don't start leaking.

Unexpectedly, you feel warm arms envelop you in a hug, hair tickling your cheek as Roxy rests her head on your shoulder. "It's okay, Dave. Just tell us what happened, please."

You keep your eyes closed as you tell the story. You're not ready to face the expressions on your friends' faces.

"...Jesus Kringlefucking Christ," Jake murmurs.

"That's...really heavy. Wow, um, are you okay?" Roxy places a hand on your shoulder.

Your eyes snap open and you glare at her. "What do you think?"

You instantly regret it, sighing and looking away. "Sorry, Rox, I'm just...really freaking the fuck out. He's my best friend, I can't lose him like this. Especially not now. And not to mention I killed Jade. I mean, I know I fucking had to do it, but it still hurts like hell."

"So...Jade is surely dead this time?" Jake asks sadly.

"Yeah," you answer quietly.

"But you had to, Dave, you saved John's life. I would've done the same thing." Roxy smiles sadly. "I know he doesn't realize it now, but he'll come around. He cares about you too, y'know."

"Thanks, Roxy," you say.

"You should get some rest," she says back, yawning widely herself. "We all need our strength right now."

"Okay," you and Jake respond, all of you settling into your separate chairs.

You trade good nights and quiet down, trying to drift off to sleep in the midst of everything. You frequently glance back at John, who's still staring blankly out the window, eyes looking shattered and exhausted, like a soul that's taken one too many kicks.

You really wish you were the one lying dead in an alley.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Kanaya Maryam, and things have taken quite a dark and terrible turn for the worst.

You've lost Equius, the oldest, strongest, and most protective in your entire friend group. It certainly feels as though there's a gaping hole in your procession, something you grieve over heavily. 

What's worse is the affect it's had on Nepeta.

She cried and screamed for hours after losing him, completely despondent and unresponsive to anyone. You somehow managed to leave the city and get back on the road, and it's been utterly silent since then. Nepeta eventually passed out from sheer exhaustion, Karkat carrying her on his back because you needed to keep moving.

None of you have said anything, either out of fear of waking Nepeta or because of each of your own silent grieving. Still, you can't stop, not even for a second. It's quite a ways to Vriska and the others.

You see a gas station on an exit up ahead and break your previously extended silence, "Karkat, we should stop there and rest for a bit."

"No way," he replies stubbornly.

"Karkat, you've been carrying Nepeta for hours, you must be exhausted by now," you admonish.

"I'm fine, Kanaya," he insists through gritted teeth.

"Don't be such a hardass, Vantas. She's just looking out for you, and she's right. We need to take a breather," Terezi interjects.

"...I hate it when you're right," he grumbles. You smile fondly and change direction, heading for the gas station's exit.

The ever-burning fluorescent lights of the place are blinding in the surrounding darkness. You have the others wait in the shadows while you check the area. Some broken glass and mostly bare shelves are all that you find, so you motion the rest of your group forward. The four of you settle down behind the checkout counter, hoping for concealment if anyone does show up. You look for anything edible left over, coming up with a couple granola bars, two bags of chips (a weird off-brand kind), and a busted can of Coke that seems to be half empty.

You, Karkat, and Terezi share what you found, leaving a granola bar, some chips, and a couple sips of soda for Nepeta when she wakes up. Terezi insists on taking the first watch, so you lean against the glass case of Marlboro boxes—almost completely gone, because of course the most important thing during an apocalypse is to smoke stolen cigarettes—and try to sleep. Karkat has Nepeta's head pillowed on his outstretched leg. His head is resting on his arm, which he's propped up on the knee of the leg not being used by a sleeping girl. He looks as if he's asleep, but you know he's more likely than not still entirely awake.

Sighing, you empty your mind of all thought for the moment and drift off.

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and something feels 50 shades of fucked up and wrong right now.

You startle awake due to this feeling, checking your surroundings. Your older sister Kanaya is resting to your left, Terezi curled up on your right, but that's it, only two girls. You try not to panic, listing all the completely rational explanations for Nepeta's disappearance...which are then bashed against the rocks in your head, because Equius's dying wish was for you to keep her safe and damn it all if you're going to let her out of your sight. You shouldn't have even fallen asleep in the first place, you're a fucking embarrassment.

You quietly get up and make your way outside. The distinct sound of aluminum crumpling and then hitting concrete has you looking up to find Nepeta sitting on the roof. How the everloving fuck she got up there, you have no idea.

"Nepeta, what the fuck," you deadpan, not even glaring.

She shrugs, "I found a ladder," and points to the right side of the building. You find metal rungs screwed into the wall, using them to climb up to Nepeta's level. She's wrapped up in herself now, staring off into space, looking a million miles away. You wonder what she's thinking about, though it should be obvious.

You carefully sit down beside her, letting your legs hang over the ledge. Nepeta sighs and rests her chin on her knees. "What am I supposed to do now?"

The only sound left after that is the chirping of crickets and the even breathing of the two of you.

You mull it over for a bit, then shrug and say, "What Equius would want you to do. Keep going."

"How?" It sounds like a sob.

You turn your face up to the stars as you reply, "Nepeta, Equius loved you more than anything on the goddamn earth. Even more than milk and horses and his shitty archery equipment. And he saw great things for you, he loved you and wanted the best in all of existence for you. If you sit here and all you do is cry and mourn him and wonder what the hell your life means anymore, you're putting his memory to shit. He gave up his life protecting you, he made sure you would live when he knew he was going to die. If you don't do anything with that life, if you don't keep fighting against all the bullshit the world throws at you and work to make something of yourself, then you're wasting what he did for you."

You glance over at her with an incredibly rare, kind smile. "It's not a matter of how you keep going, just why."

Nepeta blinks at you, tears welling up in her bright green eyes that reflect the dazzling lights above you. She kinda looks anime as fuck right now, but you're not a complete dick so you won't comment on that.

Shockingly, she throws her arms around you, wrapping you in a vice-tight grip. She buries her face in your neck and cries as you hug her back. You shoosh her, calming her back into a deep sleep.

Just as she's drifting off, you feel more than hear her whisper against your skin, "Thank you."

~*~*~*~*

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you're flying up to New York to see your cousin Rose. This all sounds perfectly normal...except it's the fucking apocalypse. And you aren't exactly seeing her, you're picking her up as another addition to your (stupid) friend army. And there's only children in this private jet.

Oh, and you're flying it.

You had a brief fascination with aviation a couple years back. You did a lot of reading, built several model airplanes and rockets, and of course, bugged the hell out of the pilot of your brother's private jet whenever you got the chance. He eventually gave in and showed you the controls, even letting you fly it briefly, once. It was exhilarating, being in control of such a large metal machine way up in the air.

The situation may be fairly grim, but flying the jet still gives you a bit of a rush.

A quiet knock pings through the cabin, echoing off the metal surroundings. 

"Come in," you say lowly, keeping your eyes trained on the open sky ahead.

The door hisses open, then clinks shut as whoever knocked steps inside. They walk over to the copilot's chair and flop down with a light sigh.

You flick your eyes to the side quickly, expecting to see Roxy, but finding none other than Jake English. Surprise manifests itself as a tightened grip on the controls, tensed shoulders, and wide eyes thankfully hidden by your shades.

"Oh, hi Jake," you murmur softly, now frequently looking in his direction.

"Hiya, Strider. How're you holding up in here?" he asks, tilting his head (what is he, a fucking puppy?) questioningly.

"Just fine. We should be flying over New York in about three hours, give or take a few," you reply, glancing at the advanced GPS system to make sure you're on track.

"That's marvelous news, it'll be good to see Rose again!" Jake says happily.

"Yeah." There's a brief pause, then you turn your head almost fully towards him and ask, "So not to sound like a major dick or anything—because it's completely fine that you're here right now—but why did you come up to see me?"

He bites his lip and looks away, sinking down lower in the chair beside you. "I just couldn't catch a wink of sleep for the life of me. I guess there's simply too much going on up in the ol' headspace." He raps his skull with his knuckles.

"Like what?"

"Bloody hell, everything? I thought Jade was dead, but apparently she wasn't really, although now she is because your delightful cousin ran her through. Stabbed her right in the back like some sort of ungentlemanly brute," he huffs.

"What!?" you practically screech, snapping your head around to stare at Jake in astonishment.

"Oh, bullocks! Of course you don't know, you were already flying this hunk of machinery at the time!" He smacks himself. "I'm so stupid, I can't believe I forgot."

"Jake, what the hell, what happened with Jade and Dave?" you demand, reluctantly turning your sights forward.

"Our good friend Jade had become zombified, not killed as we had previously believed to be true. She cornered John when he got separated from the rest of us. Dave says that he found them when she was just about to bloody kill her brother, so he strung her up on his sword like a giant, not-so-human kabob," Jake explains.

"Holy shit, how are they?" you exclaim.

Jake shrugs sadly. "John, I'm afraid, has become quite distant since returning to our little party. Dave is fairly shaken up about it, which is understandable, I suppose." He sighs before beginning again. "Gosh, I know he had to do it to save John's life, and I know he'd rather it have been himself that died, but I really really wish he hadn't killed Jade. I miss her terribly."

"But she wasn't herself, you know that," you remind him.

"Yes, but that's besides the point," Jake huffs.

"No, I think that's the whole point. In order to save his best friend, Dave had to kill someone he cared a lot about. Even though she wasn't really herself at the time, it was still probably the hardest thing he's ever had to do. Honestly, I'm surprised he was able to do it. He must be entirely losing his shit right now, I feel bad for him," you say with a frown.

Jake sits in silence, most likely not wanting to admit that you're right. Almost ten minutes passes and he still hasn't said anything or made any sort of sound at all. You get a little irritated that he's acting like this and break the silence for him.

"Y'know Jake, you don't have to be such a—" You're glaring in his direction, only to find that he'd fallen asleep. He's curled up in the copilot's chair, shoulders moving with each even breath, expression somehow even more soft and peaceful than when he's awake.

The sight brings a smile to your face. You could stare at him like that forever, but that would be sort of creepy and you still have a jet to fly safely. Eyes on the road at all times, even if there technically is no road. You set your sights back on the sky, your lips still turned upwards despite not being able to see Jake anymore.

What can you say, he's strangely irresistible.


End file.
